


About A Boy

by baeconandeggs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse of Power, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAE2017, Doctor/Patient, M/M, Mention of Mental Illness, Mention of Underage Sex, Off-Screen Suicide Attempt, Platonic Relationships, mention of depression, mention of murder, mention of rape, mention of various crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 23:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs
Summary: Gimcheon Boy Correctional Institute is a place where boys come to look for a second chance or to be proud of what they’ve done. Doctor Park Chanyeol wonders which one will Byun Baekhyun be.





	About A Boy

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR: [ _writer wants to stay anonymous_ ]  
> PROMPT #: 406  
> 
> 
> Disclaimer: The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> Author's Note: To the prompter, I know that this is not what you’ve asked for, I’m sorry about that. I hope you can still enjoy this fic. To the readers, most of the warnings apply to secondary characters. This fic is mostly set in Baekhyun’s therapy sessions with Chanyeol, so everything is discussed but not shown. I’ve written a lot of OCs because I couldn’t see any idols playing those characters. From the inmates, the only ones that are based on real idols are Min Yoongi and Jung Jungkook. Many, many thanks and cupcakes for my betas, L and H, and the mods.

The road is clear at this time of the day; there aren't many cars. Green fields run along the highway, all becoming a blur as Chanyeol drives to Gimcheon. Minseok's suggested that he should move, change Daegu for Gimcheon. But Chanyeol wouldn't change these thirty minutes blasting music through the speakers inside his car for anything. He needs it; it's his own therapy. Muse plays as Chanyeol moves his head to the beat.  
  
On the passenger seat lies his case. Chanyeol glances at the folder on top of it. The brown paper is a pretension of normality, just like the black ink of the name. He had taken that folder home last friday. He's had all weekend to read it over and over again. He sighs once again in relief. The patient doesn't seem complicated. But Chanyeol's been doing this for three years; he's been surprised quite a few times.  
  
Byun Baekhyun has a few charges. Nothing too big, it seems. Unfortunately for him, he had been caught too many times to let it pass. The folder, though, only tells as much, his age, where he's from, what he did. It says nothing about his state of mind.  
  
Chanyeol runs his hand through his hair. Byun is not the only patient for today. He goes over the list mentally, stops at a few names to remember certain things from past sessions.  
  
All of this is routine.  
  
Lowering down the volume of the music as he enters the city, taking a few turns, seeing the reformed building, greeting the guards at the front. He parks the car, turns it off and then puts Byun's folder back inside the case. He checks his face one last time in the mirror, rubs the line of BB cream left on his jaw, right under his ear, and closes the mirror.  
  
Officer Oh greets him at the entrance. It's only been a few months since the guy started working in the Institute and he already looks acclimated, although Chanyeol guesses his bored face is natural to him.  
  
"Officer Oh!" He greets loudly. The young guard flinches.  
  
"Too loud, Doctor. It's too early and you're too loud." There's a slight lisp in his voice that Chanyeol finds endearing.  
  
"It's a bright morning, Officer." Chanyeol gestures at the sky.  
  
The guy shakes his head. "It's 8 a.m... Wait until you start working with the boys."  
  
"That's why I need to enjoy the day while I can."  
  
Superintendent Kim's laughter greets Chanyeol after he crosses the door. The uniform feels different on him than on Officer Oh, and it has nothing to do with the uniforms themselves. It has everything to do with the way Superintendent Kim presents himself.  
  
"Superintendent Kim," Chanyeol says, grinning.  
  
The man takes his hand and pats his shoulder. "Good morning, Dr. Park." He's not always there in the mornings to greet Chanyeol. "The new boy is coming today," the superintendent tells him. Chanyeol nods. "He’s being sent directly from Bucheon." Chanyeol knows all of this information already.  
  
"Have you met him, Sir?" Chanyeol asks as they cross the first set of bars together.  
  
The man shakes his head. "Not yet. I've only seen the same photo as you."  
  
Chanyeol nods. "I look forward to meeting him," he says quietly.  
  
The man chuckles and, with a last pat on his shoulder, leaves him to his job.  
  
The first thing Chanyeol does after entering his office and dropping his case on the chair is to open the window, letting air in. The room feels stuffy. From the window, he has a good view of the courtyard. The dull cement is exposed, soon it will be covered by feet at certain hours of the day. For now, it looks lonely, as if it needs the steps and chatter of the boys to be alive.  
  
He heads to the desk. _I'm buying a plant on Tuesday,_ Minseok had said. He takes a look around the room and agrees with the other doctor. The office needs something different, or else both of them will go insane. Though, Chanyeol's been doing just fine all these years.  
  
There's a knock on his door. Chanyeol turns just in time to see Jongdae smiling and stepping inside.  
  
"Good morning," Chanyeol says. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"  
  
Jongdae laughs openly. "Classes start in an hour. How about you?"  
  
"The first session is at 9 a.m. I was going to start working on some reports to send to the hospital," he explains, settling his laptop on the desk and turning it on.  
  
Jongdae purses his lips and nods. "Let's have lunch together today."  
  
"Here? Or outside?"  
  
"You want to eat here?" Jongdae's incredulous face is a breeze of fresh air to Chanyeol's lungs. "You know what they say about prison food."  
  
"I was just kidding, Jongdae." Chanyeol leans against the desk, crossing his arms. "My last session before lunch break ends at twelve. I'll go look for you later."  
  
"I'll wait for you in the classroom." Before walking out, Jongdae narrows his eyes and scans Chanyeol with his eyes. "You look good today. What's up?"  
  
Chanyeol laughs. "New patient."  
  
"Oh! The new kid?" The interest makes Jongdae step back inside the room.  
  
"He's not a kid. An eighteen year old guy is not a kid anymore." Chanyeol shakes his head.  
  
"What was he charged with?"  
  
"It's not for me to say. And..." He stares pointedly at Jongdae. "I can't tell that to his new teacher."  
  
Jongdae whines and leans on the door, holding onto the knob. "I just wanted to gossip."  
  
"I'll tell you over lunch."  
  
Laughing, Jongdae nods and finally leaves the office, closing the door. The silence that follows after is common. Jongdae takes away the bright air of the morning with him, despite the open window. Chanyeol sighs as he sits down, turns on his laptop and leans back on his chair. After a few minutes of breathing in and out, he opens the folder of cases. He should start with Min Yoongi first; the most urgent case for Doctor Gong.  
  
Time passes quickly as he types in his report. Before he knows it, he's got the first session of the morning. A knock on the door leads to Yoongi entering. He's off classes today.  
  
"Yoongi, how are you today?" Chanyeol's learned to control the volume of his voice with the boy.  
  
Yoongi shrugs and takes a seat on the leather couch. Chanyeol leaves the notepad on the side, ready to use later when he prescribes the new dose of medicine. He stands and goes to sit on the other couch, a meticulously calculated distance between him and his patient. Yoongi rubs his neck, not lifting his head. Chanyeol sighs in the silence of the room, already knowing how this session is going to go.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
After Jinho leaves the office, Chanyeol stops the recorder on the side and takes a few notes. The boy has adapted himself well to the facility. He's still a bit reluctant to socialize with the rest of the inmates, but he seems strong willed enough to not cause much trouble. One more session and they'll stop support therapy.  
  
Chanyeol checks the time; he's got five minutes before the next patient comes. The schedule on his tablet says Byun Baekhyun. It's finally time to meet the newcomer. Even after all these years, Chanyeol still gets a bit of excitement when meeting new boys. Getting to know someone's mind for the first time is one of the things he likes the most about his job, despite of what he finds there.  
  
Officer Oh is the one to knock on his door. He's standing behind a much shorter boy.  
  
No matter how much Chanyeol's gotten used to his height difference with other people, it still surprises him. Baekhyun's profile didn't prepare him for a quiet boy, hiding his face by lowering his head.  
  
Chanyeol steps aside to let them in. The handcuffs click as Officer Oh opens them. He nods at Chanyeol and leaves the office. Chanyeol closes the door, then guides Baekhyun to the couch.  
  
"Good morning, Baekhyun." With some patients, Chanyeol waits for them to speak first, but he found that with new patients, it's easier to greet them first, to be the one to break the silence.  
  
"'morning," Baekhyun mumbles.  
  
And now Chanyeol awaits. The boy sits with his back straight, chewing on his lower lip. The fingers of his right hand play with the seam of his orange suit, pulling on it, close to the knee. He's got long, delicate looking fingers, well taken care of nails. He scratches the seam with his index. Then, he looks up at the window, showing Chanyeol his profile. His lip's been released, it's now popping out, as if he is pouting. Chanyeol observes the way the boy's eyes are fixed on the window.  
  
"What are you looking at?" He asks.  
  
"The window." The reply is curt.  
  
"What exactly?"  
  
Baekhyun turns his face to look at him straight in the eye, assessing him. "The sky. There are very few clouds." There's defiance in his expression. Chanyeol's used to it already. The voices of past newcomers resound in his mind. _why do you care? are you the brain doctor? are you gonna ask me how i'm feeling now? like shit, i'm feeling like shit._  
  
"Is this the first time of the day you can see the sky?"  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head. "On the way to the classroom, I saw it."  
  
"Oh. So you've already met Teacher Kim... What's he like?"  
  
Baekhyun scoffs. "Too smiley. I find his voice annoying too. He told us about _Byeong-in yangyo_." He chuckles. "As if we didn't know about it. The way he spoke, the way he moved his hands. It was obnoxious."  
  
Chanyeol is careful not to smile or show any other sign. "Not many boys here have learned about it. Some are learning it from the first time."  
  
Baekhyun gapes at him. "Well... they're dumb." And he looks at the window again.  
  
Quickly, Chanyeol learns that Baekhyun will speak on his own.  
  
"It wasn't that interesting of a lesson, honestly. Like, I get Teacher Kim; he wants us to get excited. I get it. But... I don't know. I don't know..." He quiets down again, arms falling back on his lap after being used to express himself. Then, he mumbles something, quietly, too quiet for Chanyeol to hear.  
  
"What was that, Baekhyun?"  
  
The boy faces him again and takes a deep breath. "How can anyone be excited being here?" He frowns. "He comes here, teaches and then goes back home. You probably do the same." He looks Chanyeol up and down. "How old are you, Doctor?"  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
Baekhyun smirks. "You're probably old. Really old." He tilts his head. "I'd say you're forty."  
  
Chanyeol opens his mouth to retort, to reply to the hit. But thinks better, closes it and smiles at Baekhyun. "I am."  
  
"Seriously?" Baekhyun leans forward, shock on his face.  
  
"Why? I don't look forty?" Chanyeol asks him.  
  
Baekhyun narrows his eyes, a smile plays on his lips. "No. You're not that old."  
  
"I'm thirty-four."  
  
Baekhyun plops back down on the backrest of the couch; it squeaks. His eyes search around Chanyeol's face for a lie. When he comes to believe the doctor, he nods. "Okay."  
  
After a few minutes of silence, Chanyeol asks, "How was breakfast today?"  
  
"It is true what they say about prison food. It's awful. I've already had dinner yesterday and it was gross. I didn't expect it to be so bad," Baekhyun tells him, shaking his head. "I'm gonna miss fried chicken and pizza..." He looks back down again, at his hands fidgeting on his lap. "I'm gonna miss my bed too. I already do."  
  
"Are you sharing your space with another person?" Chanyeol knows the answer. Baekhyun is in the same cell as Jungkook.  
  
"A young kid, chubby cheeks. Smiley, too. His teeth are..." He clears his throat and doesn't continue.  
  
"Have you talked to him already?"  
  
Baekhyun nods. "Yeah. He's got a strong Busan accent. It's weird meeting guys from other places of Korea." He extends his arm, placing it along the backrest and crosses one leg over the other. His fingers pick on the seam of the leather. "He was kind of nice. I don't think I'll hate him."  
  
Before the session ends, Chanyeol asks for permission to start recording their sessions. The boy nods with a curious look, but also seemingly scared. “These audios are helpful for me, you have nothing to worry about.”  
  
After the session, Officer Oh walks in and handcuffs Baekhyun again. The boy links his fingers. He turns around. "Goodbye, Doctor. See you... When?"  
  
"On Wednesday, Baekhyun."  
  
Baekhyun nods.  
  
Chanyeol nods at Officer Oh and sees him take the inmate away. Chanyeol watches them go. It's past noon when he closes the door and turns off the recorder. After lunch with Jongdae, he won't have time to write Baekhyun's first report.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Chanyeol doesn't even get to reach the classroom before Jongdae is out. The teacher already looks tired, dragging his feet as he walks up to Chanyeol. Just when he opens his mouth to throw a joke, Jongdae beats him to it. "Out. I need to get out."  
  
"Bad day, huh?"  
  
Jongdae nods but says nothing. Chanyeol understands how tiring a classroom full of young boys can be. They leave in silence, crossing the bars, greeting the officers as they go. Officer Oh bows at them and says a quiet "see you later", to which Chanyeol nods.  
  
"My car or yours?" Chanyeol asks.  
  
Jongdae raises a judging eyebrow at him. "Not in my junk. I'm your friend only for your car," he teases as they walk towards Chanyeol's Hyundai.  
  
"I hate you," mumbles Chanyeol.  
  
"You don't." Jongdae looks better. A breath of fresh air is always what they need. It's only Monday for both of them to already feel so drained.  
  
Once they're sitting in the car and driving away from the facility, Chanyeol's hands hold onto the wheel with much less pressure.  
  
"The new boy is okay," Jongdae starts.  
  
"He didn't like your lesson," Chanyeol comments, turning right, heading to their favorite _jjigae_ spot.  
  
Jongdae gasps. "But... but I did well today!" From how defensive he gets, Chanyeol can tell how much he actually likes his job, not that Chanyeol would ever doubt it. "It was such an important event! It explains so much about the current relations between Korea and other occidental countries besides the United States..."  
  
Chanyeol chuckles. "He's already studied that at school. He's just gotten here, he's not going to like your lessons for a while." He looks at his friend’s pouting face. "You're gonna win his heart, don't worry."  
  
A bit more relaxed, Jongdae leans back on the seat. "How is he?"  
  
Chanyeol munches on his lower lip, mind going back to his session with Byun Baekhyun. "Fresh. Still fresh."  
  
After they park the car in front of the restaurant and enter the place, the old lady inside is already ushering the waiter to their favorite table. They greet her loudly with matching charming smiles on their faces. The woman coos, as usual.  
  
"Oh, such handsome men. Come in, come in. Take a seat!"  
  
Jongdae appreciates the comments and additional _banchan_ the woman places on their table with a wink. Chanyeol is the one that thanks her properly, a simple bow instead of a flirty giggle.  
  
"Why don't you get someone your own age?" Chanyeol shakes his head at Jongdae.  
  
"She makes great _jjigae_. Pity her husband is over there, sleeping on the chair by the cashier." Jongdae nods his head in the direction of the door. The old man is napping, head lolling to the side.  
  
The stew is served by the young guy who prepared their table, the woman's son, as Chanyeol and Jongdae have learned over the hundred times they've gone to that place since they've known each other. When Chanyeol places the spoon between his lips, he feels extremely thankful to the woman. He glances at her; she's staring at him with a fond smile and then goes back to work. Not spicy at all, just how Chanyeol likes it.  
  
"You tell me... but you're the one flirting right now." Jongdae's smirking over his own spoon before he gets a taste of his own order. He moans right after swallowing it and it sounds way too sexy. Chanyeol's used to this ridiculous side of Jongdae. Their young waiter, though, he's startled and places the jug of water quickly and leaves. "I think you've just traumatized our poor waiter."  
  
"No. He's fine," Jongdae tells him, while looking at the guy. His dark skin is tainted with a soft pink color. "Jongin is just fine."  
  
Shaking his head, Chanyeol goes back to eating his own stew. The day is a bit warm for this type of food, but the ambiance of the place makes them come back again and again.  
  
"How was Byun in class?" Chanyeol asks, with kimchi caught in between his chopsticks.  
  
Jongdae drinks water and swallows down loudly before answering. "Bored. He kept looking at the ceiling, the door, his desk, anywhere but the blackboard. Did he talk a lot in his session?"  
  
Chanyeol shouldn't discuss his patients with someone who's not from the Department of Neuropsychiatry of the Hospital; Doctor Gong would probably scold him. "He did, after a bit of awkwardness in the beginning. He seems open to talk, as long as it's not about the reason he's here..."  
  
"If you learn of a way for me to connect with him, let me know." Jongdae looks serious for once. "From experience, the condescending and bored ones in class are the smartest ones."  
  
"On his file, it said he was going to take his exams. I haven't gotten the chance to ask him if he wanted to go to the university."  
  
"Oh! That's good... Next time, try to find out if he wants to and I can add him to the special program."  
  
Chanyeol nods. He understands that the well being of the boys is a teamwork done by all the members of the facility; some, like Jongdae, are genuinely invested in their work. Chanyeol shares Jongdae’s enthusiasm; he’s only a little weary of the cases he has to work with.  
  
"How was... how was Yoongi?" Jongdae is hesitant.  
  
"I’ve upped his dose."  
  
Jongdae nods. "Wouldn't it be better for him to have a cellmate?"  
  
"It might." Chanyeol shakes his head. "But we don't know what could happen if he has a different episode. We can't put another boy in danger. And if he's got a similar episode... we can't put another boy through that trauma." Chanyeol sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I need to send the report to Doctor Gong today."  
  
"Who was the one who alarmed the guards?"  
  
"Taeho. He heard a thump and gagging noises. He recognized it instantly and called out the guards."  
  
"Smart boy," Jongdae comments.  
  
Taeho's pale face, after Chanyeol and Minseok were called to the institute, showed how young he is; how despite being in a correctional institute there are many things he doesn’t know yet. Minseok took Taeho away, while Chanyeol and the paramedics focused on Yoongi.  
  
"It's time to go back," Chanyeol says, looking at his watch. "Say goodbye to your love."  
  
Jongdae smiles and stands up to hug the old lady, thanking her for a wonderful meal. Nearby, Jongin steals shy glances at Jongdae and Chanyeol decides to come back again on Wednesday. He hands the money to the owner with both hands. The cheerful greeting of the family follows them back all the way to the car.  
  
"Will you go to Seoul tomorrow?" Jongdae asks.  
  
Chanyeol shrugs. "Only if Doctor Gong calls me."  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Although Seoul is an always changing city, it looks the same in Chanyeol's eyes. His parents’ home is still in the same place as always. And no matter how many renovations the hospital gets done, when Chanyeol walks through its halls, it feels the same. Yet, it's different. There's something playing in Chanyeol's heart that tells him nostalgic stories of his life as a student in the hospital, old love stories and mistakes made. There's another melody that speaks of changes, of doctors and a boys’ correctional institute in Gimcheon. All of that is written on a notebook while Chanyeol plays the guitar back in his apartment in Daegu.  
  
The white hall that leads to Doctor Gong's office is still as bright as always. The white door makes the same sound when it's knocked on. And Doctor Gong's voice when she says, "come in," is as imposing as always.  
  
"Oh! Hello, Doctor Park," she greets as soon as she notices it's him. She stands up from the chair to shake his hand. Her grip is firm and Chanyeol bows respectfully.  
  
"Doctor Gong," he says.  
  
"Thank you for coming today." The woman walks back to her chair and, as she sits, she motions Chanyeol to take a seat too.  
  
Chanyeol doesn't know how to tell her that it's his job, so the only thing he could do was come. He simply nods and smiles; it's a formula that has worked for him for most of his life. "I've brought the audios too, in case you wanted them."  
  
"Oh! Yes!" She extends her arm over the desk, palm up, and Chanyeol places a small Rilakkuma flash drive. She smiles when she sees it, but says nothing. After she plugs it in and starts downloading the audios, she faces Chanyeol again. "Okay. Tell me about Min Yoongi. Start from the beginning."  
  
"Uhm... you already know his case, Doctor."  
  
She shakes her head. "I meant what happened last week."  
  
Chanyeol leaves his case on top of the desk, pushing it to the side and takes a deep breath. He starts with the call at four a.m. last thursday. One of the night-shift officers' voice was desperately calling him back to the institute. At first, Chanyeol hadn’t understood much of what the man was saying, but when he caught the name of the boy, he realized it instantly. He told the man to call the paramedics and keep him in a bed, restrained if possible, in case he attempts something again.  
  
The drive that usually takes thirty minutes, it had taken twenty. His own heartbeat set the speed of his car. He arrived to the facility and was ushered inside by Officer Wu. When he got to the room, Yoongi was being contained by two strong paramedics. He was thrashing around and screaming, cursing, telling them to let him be done with it, voice hoarse and words cut through with coughing fits.  
  
"Did you give him any meds?" Chanyeol asked the paramedics. One of them shook his head and told him they were waiting for him. "Do we know if he took anything?" He then asked Officer Wu, but the man shrugged.  
  
"Yoongi... Yoongi. It's me, Doctor Park." He called the boy. Yoongi kept moving, eyes everywhere but unfocused. "Yoongi." A bit more firmly. His deep voice helped, as the boy stopped and for a second looked at his face. "It's Doctor Park." Yoongi was panting and still fighting against the restraints. But his eyes were on Chanyeol. "That's good. Look at me. Do you understand what I'm saying?" The boy didn't reply but his arms stopped moving. "Look at me. You're fine. You're fine." Chanyeol's eyes moved downwards to the red marks on his neck.  
  
"The paramedics revived him. But he had an episode as soon as he awoke," Chanyeol tells Doctor Gong. "After we manage to calm him down, I asked him if he'd taken anything. That was the only time he spoke, denying it. So I gave him a sedative and he stayed out for almost fifteen hours. I've been checking on him regularly since then."  
  
He doesn't tell the Doctor about the way his palms were sweating while holding the needle, how much he was shaking. Or how he feared the boy had lied. If Yoongi had taken something...  
  
Doctor Gong nods. "You did well, Park." She assures him and leans back in her seat. "This isn’t your first time with a case like this, is it?"  
  
"No, Doctor," he replies, shaking his head. His hands are linked on his lap, under the desk so that the woman can't see the way he's nervously rubbing them. "I’ve had one before, here at the hospital. Yet, Doctor Kim's had a few more. So I've consulted him."  
  
"That's good. Don't be afraid to ask me anything either."  
  
"Thank you, Doctor."  
  
"How was the first session after the episode?" She asks, her eyes now on her computer screen.  
  
"He didn't say much. But he seemed to go back to his usual self..." He hesitates for a few seconds. "Doctor, I'm thinking it might be better to hospitalize him."  
  
Raising her eyebrows, Doctor Gong faces him again. "He is your patient. Do what you consider best."  
  
"I've upped the dose of his meds. But I think that the institute will only worsen his state."  
  
With pursed lips, she nods. "I agree with you, Park. When's your next session with him?"  
  
"Tomorrow."  
  
"Then, suggest it to him. And you should contact his legal carers. Are they his parents?" Chanyeol shakes his head. "Ah... I see. It's a very sensitive issue. I trust you, Doctor," she adds.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Chanyeol used to know these halls like the back of his hand, halls where he had made many fond memories. Three years ago, he used to walk them with the rest of the residents. There are new rooms and hallways, though; a reformation that took place a few months after he left. As they’re similar to the places Chanyeol already knows, it can be a little confusing.  
  
His savior is exactly who Chanyeol was looking for.  
  
Kyungsoo walks up to him, side by side with Doctor Jo. There’s a heart-shaped smile on his friend’s face when the doctor nods. Chanyeol chuckles, shaking his head, and that’s when Kyungsoo notices him. Doctor Jo bids him goodbye and Kyungsoo walks up to Chanyeol.  
  
“Your crush is as cute as always,” Chanyeol greets him. It earns him a punch in the stomach. He clutches, wincing in pain. “Your punches are as strong as always,” he says, through gritted teeth.  
  
“Why can’t you say ‘hello’ like a normal person?”  
  
Chanyeol grins cheekily. From the way Kyungsoo shakes his head, Chanyeol can tell he’s not mad; he’s just resigned to Chanyeol’s actions.  
  
“I wouldn’t be me.”  
  
“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo asks, leading him through the corridor, all the way to the cafeteria. It’s a new one.  
  
“I came to see Doctor Gong. She wanted to discuss a special case I have back in Gimcheon,” Chanyeol replies.  
  
Kyungsoo hums and it’s only after they sit down with their coffees in hand that he speaks again. “When will you come back to work here?”  
  
“I don’t know. I like it there.” He looks down at the plastic cup in his hands, warming them.  
  
“You’re gonna have to come back someday. You can’t do your entire career there in Gimcheon.”  
  
Chanyeol knows that. His heart pulls him back to the hospital most times.  
  
“I know about Min Yoongi’s case. Chanyeol, you’re gonna have cases like these no matter where you go. I know you’re still tormenting yourself about Choi Taewoon.” Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. “You did what you could. But this job… it’s a constant struggle. You can help and give medication to the patients. But in some cases, the illness is too strong and hard to beat.”  
  
“It’s not that.” Chanyeol shakes his head. “It’s the opposite of that. The boys… they’re younger. I think I can help them better. I think I can stop a future Choi Taewoon. It’s… talking to these boys makes me feel like I’m doing something good. I’m doing this for them...” His voice trails off at the end, as Yoongi’s face comes to mind. He thinks of the things he’s heard in different sessions; the way these boys see the world, in some cases so carelessly, and in others, so deeply. He remembers discussing the legal system with Moonkyu and laughs quietly.  
  
Kyungsoo looks at him fondly. “I just don’t want you to stay in Gimcheon just because you decide to beat yourself up for the past.”  
  
“I’m not. I’m there for the boys,” Chanyeol assures him.  
  
Whether Kyungsoo will insist on making Chanyeol come back to Seoul or not, Chanyeol doesn’t know. For now, Kyungsoo asks him, “Any new boys?”  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Superintendent Kim looks up at Chanyeol from his seat behind his big wooden desk. The uniform, the desk and the man's stern face intimidate Chanyeol greatly. The small movement of the man's jaw as he grits his teeth in deep thought, pondering over Chanyeol's question, increases his nerves.  
  
"I think you should talk to his legal carers. The institute has had previous cases like this, but we always take in consideration the charges too." The man leans forward, placing his forearms on the desk. "Although the inmates' mental state is important, it's not the priority." It sounds harsh, and Superintendent Kim seems aware of it. His eyebrows furrow and his lips purse; it's a compassionate look that makes Chanyeol nod. The decision is not up to the man himself.  
  
"I will talk with the carers and then I'll talk about it with Min Yoongi, Sir." Chanyeol bows and retreats himself after the man nods.  
  
Chanyeol speed walks towards his office. His mind is swirling with all the stress. As a psychiatrist, his priority is the boy's mental state. His depression is definitely deep enough to be worrisome. Min Yoongi isn’t Chanyeol's first case of this type, though. But Yoongi is only seventeen, early and proper treatment could save his life.  
  
When he reaches the door, he finds Officer Oh waiting, standing right behind Byun Baekhyun.  
  
"Doctor," the officer says in greeting.  
  
"Wait here." Chanyeol steps into the office and searches for Baekhyun's file on top of his desk. Then, turns on the recorder and places it on top of the coffee table, right behind Minseok's new plant, hidden from the patients and close enough to catch all the sounds. "Come in," he calls.  
  
Officer Oh brings in Baekhyun and frees his hands. He nods at Chanyeol and walks away, closing the door behind himself.  
  
"Hello, Baekhyun." Chanyeol sits down on his own single couch. The leather squeaks underneath him.  
  
"Hello, Doctor." The boy is sitting with both hands link over his lap, leaning forward.  
  
"Apologies for being late." Chanyeol knows he doesn't need to apologize. But the way Baekhyun nods as he accepts his apology shows that Baekhyun values it.  
  
They sit in silence for a few moments until Baekhyun decides he needs to break it. "There was omelette today. Wednesdays are international food day." Chanyeol already knows this; he simply nods. "They were really bad. When I leave this place, I'm gonna get real french food somewhere."  
  
"Is this the first time you try omelettes?"  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head. "Does _omurice_ count?"  
  
Chanyeol laughs. "It counts."  
  
"I'm also going to take the exams." There's something in Baekhyun's voice. "I'm gonna move to Seoul too... I wanna go to college." It’s hope mixed with a little bit of bitterness. "What college would take an ex-inmate?" He shakes his head, as he looks down at his legs, stretched, reaching under the coffee table now.  
  
"Some would," Chanyeol assures him. "Did you know we have a special program to help inmates prepare for their exams?"  
  
Baekhyun lifts his head at that. "Really?"  
  
"Yes. It's organized by professor Kim." Baekhyun groans, making Chanyeol smile. "He's a good teacher." When Baekhyun says nothing, Chanyeol asks, "Have you looked up the activities you can do here?"  
  
Hesitantly, Baekhyun nods. The way he doesn't look at Chanyeol is odd.  
  
"Is there anything you'd like to do?"  
  
With a shake of his head, Baekhyun denies it. His head is down and he keeps moving his hand along his thigh, playing with the seam of his jumpsuit. The hand on his lap says as much as his silence.  
  
"Did you do any activities back at home?"  
  
Baekhyun did nothing at home. He's not interested in anything. There's nothing that calls his attention. He keeps speaking. Baekhyun can't keep quiet; but the things he leaves unsaid can be more important than what he does say.  
  
When it's time to end the session, Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun, who's determinedly looking at the window. "The Theatre Project will be doing a play at the end of the year. It’ll be fun to watch. You might be in time to join them."  
  
Baekhyun's head snaps, facing him again. He opens his mouth to refute, but closes it and nods. "There's also a choir..." It's a whisper.  
  
"Yes, there is."  
  
Baekhyun looks up at him when they both stand up. Officer Oh knocks on the door, coming to take Baekhyun away.  
  
"Thanks, Doc."  
  
Chanyeol chuckles and a smile stays on his face long after Baekhyun's left.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
“Mom told me, before I came here, to eat well and take care. Not to make friends that could be a bad influence on me. To call her whenever I have the time ‒ I haven’t called her yet.”  
  
It’s been a week since Baekhyun arrived to the institute. The boy leans back against the couch, legs stretched in front of himself. He usually has two different poses; one where he’s fully stretched and another where he’s got one leg over the other. His hands are always playing with something, the seam of his pants or the ripped leather of the couch. His eyes are on the plant, the window, the couch. But when Chanyeol speaks, Baekhyun’s eyes are on the doctor, as if nothing were more important than Chanyeol’s words.  
  
“Why haven’t you?”  
  
The boy shrugs, pursing his lips and lifting his eyebrows. “I haven’t been given the time.”  
  
“Baekhyun, I’ve worked here for the past three years. You have time to call home since the first day.” The words make Baekhyun sit up straight, lowering his head. “I’m not scolding you. I’m not here to do that.” The boy looks up and nods. “I’m just asking you not to lie to me.” Baekhyun bites his lower lips, and Chanyeol tries again. “Why haven’t you called her?”  
  
“I… I don’t know. Maybe I just don’t want to hear the disappointment in her voice.” Baekhyun’s hands fidget on his lap.  
  
“What would she say, if you called her?”  
  
Shrugging, Baekhyun replies, “She’d ask if I’m eating well...”  
  
“Are you?”  
  
Baekhyun’s head snaps. “What?”  
  
“Are you eating well?”  
  
The boy shakes his head. “I miss her food.”  
  
“There you go. That’s a question you have an answer to,” Chanyeol tells him, making Baekhyun smile.  
  
“She’d ask me if I’m talking to the rest of the guys.” Baekhyun adds, looking straight at Chanyeol. “I am. I talk to Jungkook all the time. He’s cool... He…” Baekhyun doesn’t finish what he was going to say. “I could tell my mom that.”  
  
“What about your father? What would he say?”  
  
“I don’t think he’d be there to talk to me. To be honest, I don’t even think my mother would be at home to answer the phone.” He sounds bitter. His hand goes back to the leather of the couch; he pulls on a loose string from an old rip.  
  
“Can’t you call them to their handphones?”  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head. “I don’t wanna bother them at work.” He sighs and leans back. He’s looking down at his own hand. His posture is more relaxed than it was before. “They wouldn’t answer. Or they would and tell me they’d call me later. They never do. They forget to call back.”  
  
“What do your parents do?” Chanyeol already knows the answer. It’s all written in Baekhyun’s profile.  
  
“My dad has his own company. My mom’s a university professor.” A clear high middle class family, with busy parents.  
  
“What about your brother?”  
  
Baekhyun lifts his head fast. “How did you..?” Chanyeol looks at him in silence. “Oh… you know. He’s in Japan. Did you know he got his degree in three years? He did a Masters and is now doing a PhD in Japan. He’s engaged to a Japanese girl. They were going to get married this year, but then… yeah…” He does a vague gesture at himself with his hands.  
  
Chanyeol takes a deep breath. “Baekhyun, sooner or later, we’re going to have to talk about you. Let me say this again: I’m not here to scold you. I’m here to help you understand yourself a bit better.”  
  
Baekhyun nods, but says nothing.  
  
“Why did you break into someone’s home?” Baekhyun shakes his head. “You don’t seem like a person that can’t make ends meet by the end of the month. Why would you rob someone’s house? Armed, moreover.”  
  
Baekhyun starts shaking his head faster, lips tightly closed. He’s not going to speak about it today, and Chanyeol sighs.  
  
The rest of the session is spent in silence with Baekhyun looking at the window. Chanyeol is used to this attitude from other boys, especially newcomers. But Baekhyun did well in the first two sessions, easily talking about his life in prison. The problem seems to be his life outside the institute.  
  
They have five minutes left, Chanyeol notices on his watch.  
  
“Have you thought about the Theatre Project?”  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head. “I will soon,” he promises. Chanyeol doesn’t know whether he’ll keep his promise or not. Baekhyun is still not fully opening up.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
The menu is different this time. As spring is ending, they change _jjigae_ for a bit of _galbi jjim_ ; it’s still stew, but they can fool themselves into thinking that it’s not too hot. The old woman serves it with the usual smile and Jongin places the jug of water on the table afterwards. Jongdae’s eyes follow Jongin’s retreating figure.  
  
“Stop,” Chanyeol whispers harshly.  
  
Jongdae’s eyes twinkle when he looks back at Chanyeol. Grabbing his chopsticks, he speaks. “How’s Byun?”  
  
“Adapting. How is he?”  
  
“In the program.”  
  
Chanyeol’s metal chopsticks clank when they touch his dish after falling from his fingers. “Since when?”  
  
“Just now.” Jongdae looks pleased, giving new information to Chanyeol. He puts a piece of meat in his mouth and chews happily.  
  
“That’s… that’s great!” Chanyeol takes his chopsticks again, tightening his hold while thinking of all the questions he’s going to ask Baekhyun in their next session. Excitement bubbles up inside of him. “Did he talk about anything else? Does he wanna join anything else?”  
  
Jongdae tilts his head and his eyebrows furrow in curiosity. “No. Why?”  
  
“I suggested the Theatre Project to him.” Jongdae nods in agreement. “But he’s also showed interest in the choir.” Jongdae grins, clearly pleased, and Chanyeol laughs at him. “He’s not gonna like it when he learns you’re the teacher.”  
  
His friend scoffs at him. “I will win his heart over in the special program,” he says, bringing some kimchi to his lips. “Why the Theatre Project?”  
  
“I don’t know… he seems like he likes the attention and that might help a lot to open him up in the sessions. If he gets more confidence, he might be able to speak more openly.” Chanyeol licks the corner or his mouth, tasting the broth of the stew, and worries his lower lip. Then, he looks up at his friend. “What I’m worried about is… do you know which boys are in the Theatre Project?”  
  
Jongdae opens his mouth. “Ah… I don’t know. In choir, there’s Jaekwang…” Looking up at the ceiling, he counts with his fingers. “Won too, but he’ll be leaving soon. His time’s over.” He looks back at Chanyeol.  
  
“Do you know if Moonkyu is in any club?” Chanyeol asks him. “Taeho?”  
  
Jongdae shakes his head. “Not that I know of. You should ask Yixing.” They eat silently, before Jongdae adds, “Why?”  
  
“I’m afraid Baekhyun might be vulnerable. It’s his third week here. I don’t think Moonkyu would be good company for him.”  
  
“Uhm… Taeho is actually part of the exams’ program, now that I remember.” Jongdae tells him, half a pitiful smile on his lips.  
  
Chanyeol winces. “Is he manageable there?”  
  
“As long as he’s not with Kangho, he’s good,” Jongdae replies, nodding.  
  
“Let’s hope it stays that way.” Chanyeol sighs.  
  
Quietly, Jongin comes to take their dishes away, asking if everything was okay for them. Jongdae nods, telling him it was delicious and winks his way. Their waiter stutters a short reply and leaves.  
  
“You’re being mean, now,” Chanyeol scolds his friend, who simply shrugs.  
  
Working in prison, with so many young boys in such difficult and sensitive situations, is exhausting. Jongdae’s eye glinting mischievously when he checks out Jongin’s ass shows Chanyeol that he too needs something to take his own mind off work. The guitar in his home helps a lot.  
  
At the same time, though, helping out these boys can be very rewarding. And at the end of the day, that’s what Chanyeol works for.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Baekhyun’s leaning back, legs stretched out in front of himself. He plays with the coffee table, the tips of his shoes bumping into the wood. Half of his mind seems to be somewhere else; he started talking about the carpentry class he has to take. He told Chanyeol every little detail of the piece of wood he had carved and how the machine worked. After his time working in the institute, Chanyeol thinks he could probably use that machine well, since many of the inmates have told him about it.  
  
But Baekhyun’s eyes are on the coffee table as he speaks.  
  
“I’ve joined the special program… to take the exams,” he tells Chanyeol, quietly. “I’m starting next week.”  
  
“That’s good.” Chanyeol takes a few moments to observe Baekhyun’s face. It’s interesting to see how much it changed when he went from talking about carpentry work to college and the future. “You don’t sound excited.”  
  
“I… I’m not.” Baekhyun’s honesty makes Chanyeol’s work much easier. The boy’s hand plays with the seam of his jumpsuit. “I don’t know if I really want this.”  
  
“Do you feel you’re doing it for your family?”  
  
Chanyeol’s question strikes a chord. Baekhyun takes a deep shaky breath before nodding. “I think it’s the least I can do; not let my life go to waste.”  
  
“Is being in prison wasting your life?” Baekhyun nods again. “Just today, you’ve learned how to carve wood, Baekhyun. You may not see it as something useful because it might not fit your family’s idea of what you should be doing. But you enjoyed it. You told me yourself.”  
  
With large eyes and an open mouth, Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol. The doctor can see the exact moment his patient accepts the words and realizes it for himself. There’s a small smile on Baekhyun’s face.  
  
“I did.”  
  
“So, if you do end up going to college, what do you think you’ll study?”  
  
Baekhyun shrugs. “I haven’t given it much thought, to be honest.” His eyes look down to his feet, now pulled back. He’s sitting straight.  
  
“What was it that you liked the most about carpentry?”  
  
“I liked having a visual idea and making it real. Next class, we’re gonna build a shelf. I look forward to that. To build something useful.”  
  
Chanyeol listens attentively to how his voice changes tones when he talks about it. “How about architecture?” He asks.  
  
Baekhyun’s head snaps quickly to look at Chanyeol. “That sounds interesting. I should look it up.”  
  
For a few minutes in silence, Chanyeol lets Baekhyun think it over, before asking about something else. “Have you started the Theatre Project already?”  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head and leans back on the couch. “Not yet. But I did start Choir.”  
  
“Oh? Are you liking it so far?”  
  
Baekhyun scrunches his face in annoyance. “Professor Kim is there.” He pauses. “He is a good teacher, I’ll give him that.”  
  
Chanyeol laughs at the reluctance in his statement. “You’re gonna like him.”  
  
As much as Baekhyun shakes his head, he can’t stop himself from smiling, and Chanyeol sees it.  
  
“What about your choir mates?”  
  
“They’re cool. I met Jaekwang; he doesn’t talk much but he did laugh at my jokes, so I like him.” Baekhyun gives him a smile, lifting his shoulders up. “The one called Won… he’s a little more chaotic, but he sings well. He was charged for robbery, twice.”  
  
Chanyeol nods. “What else do you know about him?”  
  
“Not much. His sentence is almost up.” Baekhyun sighs. “Must be nice…” he whispers. “Oh! Jungkook joined the Project with me. I convinced him.” Baekhyun’s eyes get brighter when he says it. “Jungkook is really nice. It’s hard to understand why he’s here. Robbery, like Won.”  
  
“What do you think about that?”  
  
“Huh?” Baekhyun tilts his head to the side.  
  
“Their charges.”  
  
“Well, I look at Won and I can see it. But when I look at Jungkook, I can’t understand why.” Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek. “He seems so innocent; he doesn’t belong here.”  
  
“What do you think the other inmates see you like? Like Won or like Jungkook?”  
  
The question hangs in the air; Baekhyun gapes at Chanyeol, clearly not having expected it. “I…” It seems like Baekhyun’s got nothing to say. “To be honest, I think they know I don’t belong here, even if I’ve told Jungkook about the day I was caught.” His right hand now lays on his side, slowly wiggling its fingers. “Sometimes… Sometimes I forget what I did. Sometimes it’s like it was all a dream. Most days, though, I know it was real and that’s when it hurts.”  
  
“Why did you break into someone’s home, Baekhyun?”  
  
The boy shrugs. “Because I’m dumb.”  
  
“I don’t think intelligence is related to that.” Chanyeol sighs. “I hope one of these days you can tell me your thoughts about it.”  
  
“I know, Doc.” Baekhyun glances at him. There’s fear in his eyes and in the way his eyebrows are touching. “I want to...”  
  
“Take your time. We have a few weeks more.”  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
The weather is much warmer now, but opening the window still works as a way to freshen up the office. Minseok’s plant is growing well and strong; some of the boys have commented on it. It brings out a certain scent to the ambiance that helps the patients relax. Chanyeol has thanked Minseok for that.  
  
There’s a knock on the door. It doesn’t surprise Chanyeol to find Baekhyun outside with Officer Oh standing behind him. He greets both of them with a wide grin. Officer Oh nods, makes Baekhyun step inside and frees his hands. Baekhyun looks a lot more cheerful this day.  
  
“I have a question, Doc,” he starts. “Why do they free our hands during the session?”  
  
“Ah… Not everyone gets the handcuffs off, though. Only those who come with a recommendation from the psychiatrist that worked with them during their trial.” Baekhyun nods, rolling his wrists in awe. “How do your hands feel?”  
  
“Free. It’s not like we live with them on. But I feel like coming here is a break from it all,” Baekhyun replies, not lifting his eyes from his hands. Chanyeol waits for him to continue. Baekhyun notices it. “Ah! I started the Theatre Project. Director Zhang is hilarious. He looks so lost and sleepy, and he comes up with the most random ideas. He’s‒” Baekhyun stops himself.  
  
“He’s what, Baekhyun?”  
  
The boy blushed a deep crimson, biting his lips. He looks at Chanyeol. There’s fear again. “He’s cute,” he mumbles.  
  
It dawns on Chanyeol, from the reaction. He can tell why the fear is there. “It’s okay, Baekhyun. You can talk about those things here.” Baekhyun nods. “Is there anyone else you think is cute?”  
  
Baekhyun opens his mouth and his eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights. “At first, Jungkook, but he’s so young and not my type.” He rubs his hands on his lap nervously, shaggy dark hair falling over his eyes. “Taeho… is…”  
  
Chanyeol waits for him to finish. “I see…” Baekhyun nods. “Have you told anyone about this?”  
  
Shaking his head, Baekhyun stares at him. “Not here, I know it’s dangerous. And at home… it’s different. I didn’t say anything to my family.”  
  
“Baekhyun… Am I the first one to know?”  
  
The boy nods. He looks so vulnerable. It scares Chanyeol to see Baekhyun who usually seems so casual about things, like he’s got nothing to worry about.  
  
“I can keep your secret, Baekhyun.”  
  
“Thank you, Doc.” It’s a soft reply. Chanyeol smiles at the name, having accepted to be called _Doc_ by Baekhyun a while ago.  
  
“So… the Project?”  
  
Baekhyun’s face changes again. It brightens up when he talks about the idea for the show. They’re going to do a musical, which means that Professor Kim will be working with them ‒ Baekhyun makes a face at this.  
  
“But you still go to the Choir, right?” Chanyeol already knows Baekhyun does.  
  
“Yeah… I like singing.” He blushes again. “Back at home, I wanted to join one… but my friends… well, they judged a lot of other boys. So I kept quiet about this.” He takes a deep breath and then pouts. “Here, some boys do judge us, but at the same time, they can’t judge anyone. We’re all here locked behind bars. We’re all the same.”  
  
Chanyeol would love to disagree. Yoongi is not the same as Kangho. Baekhyun is not the same as Taeho. And none of them are the same as Jungkook. Instead, he nods and lets Baekhyun continue.  
  
“I haven’t talked to Taeho about why he’s here, though,” Baekhyun says quietly.  
  
“Some boys aren’t willing to openly talk about it,” Chanyeol explains to him. “Some of them aren’t proud of what they’ve done.” Baekhyun nods at this. “Some… well, they’re here to learn.” Chanyeol decides to leave it at that.  
  
A knock on the door marks the end of the session.  
  
“See you next time, Doc,” Baekhyun says, standing up to walk to the door.  
  
Chanyeol walks him to it. “Baekhyun, next time will be our last session. Your period of adaptation is ending.”  
  
He can see the exact moment the disappointment settles on Baekhyun’s face. “Oh… I see…”  
  
“If you ever need to have a special session, you can ask for it. I don’t think you need to have regular sessions though.” Chanyeol stares at him. “I want to ask you, Baekhyun... During our last session, I want to talk about your charges.”  
  
Baekhyun nods in silence, as Chanyeol opens the door to a curious Officer Oh, who looks between the doctor and his patient.  
  
“See you next time, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun’s retreating figure.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Their last session starts with a gloomy Baekhyun talking about the last thing he’s built in carpentry class. They’ve been told that they’ll build the stage for the Theatre Project. Any other day, Baekhyun’s eyes would light up and his voice would have a certain tilt, showing his excitement. This day, Baekhyun’s personality is dim. Chanyeol can guess why, but he wants to hear it from Baekhyun.  
  
When Baekhyun quiets down, eyes on the open window, fingers on the couch, Chanyeol speaks again. “Baekhyun, this is our last session. Is there anything else you want to talk about?”  
  
So many things were left unsaid. Chanyeol would like to fill the empty spaces in Baekhyun’s story. His friends back home, the reason he committed burglary, his sexuality and any effect it could have on Baekhyun’s actions. But if his patient doesn’t open up, Chanyeol can’t force him.  
  
“I… like professor Kim now,” Baekhyun replies with a shrug.  
  
Chanyeol chuckles. “That’s not what I asked.”  
  
The boy smiles. “I know. But isn’t it better? To talk about my newfound feelings for professor Kim.”  
  
“What type of feelings are your referring to?” Chanyeol leans forward, curiosity taking over.  
  
Baekhyun makes a disgusted face. “Ugh! Not those, Doc. I just… I’ve learned to accept him; he’s a good teacher.”  
  
Laughing, Chanyeol leans back on the couch. “I told you so.”  
  
“Doc…” Baekhyun sounds serious now. “I made a mistake. I was dumb and now I’m paying the consequences. There’s nothing more to say.” He worries his bottom lip, lowering down his eyes first and then his head. “I’ll take my months here as a second chance. A chance to do something better with my life.”  
  
When he looks back up again, he looks determined.  
  
“It’s good to hear that, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol pauses when he sees how Baekhyun’s expression softens. “I’ll say it again. You’re allowed to ask for another session, if you ever need it.”  
  
Baekhyun nods with pursed lips. He is so young, a great mind hidden behind bright eyes and an innocent expression. Jongdae told Chanyeol how the boy excels in everything he tries. What hurts Baekhyun is that Chanyeol and Jongdae and the rest of the inmates can see it more than his own parents. It’s clear as day to Chanyeol.  
  
At the same time, Baekhyun’s bright eyes set on Chanyeol’s face, attentively listening to the doctor’s words, is not helpful for the patient.  
  
“See‒… Goodbye, Doc.”  
  
“Goodbye, Baekhyun.”  
  
Officer Oh handcuffs the boy again and takes him away. Right before Chanyeol closes the door of the office, he sees Baekhyun turning around to look at him. Chanyeol smiles at him.  
  
Each day the air coming from the window of the office is warmer. June’s just started, and for the next three months, the window will stay closed with the air conditioner turned on. Whether the plant will survive summer locked in an office or not, Chanyeol doesn’t know. He remembers he didn’t water it in the morning when he first arrived, so he does it right after Baekhyun has left. By the plant, there’s the recorder. Chanyeol stops it and puts it back in the drawer.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Jongin places the plate of _tangsuyuk_ on the table, after Jongdae makes space for it. The flirty smile Jongdae directs at their waiter makes the young boy lower his head and rush back to the kitchen. Jongdae chuckles, a hint of fondness in his laughter.  
  
“When are you going to ask him out?” Chanyeol asks, not even lifting his eyes from the dish in front of him.  
  
“When do you think it’s best? When his mother is handing him the dishes? Or when his father is staring at me with a frown on his face?” Jongdae deadpans.  
  
“Good point.” Chanyeol munches on a slice of pork. “Maybe you should walk around the neighborhood more often.”  
  
Jongdae shakes his head. “No, I don’t come here when I don’t have to go to the institute.” Chanyeol nods, but says nothing. “Besides… where would we go on a date here?” Jongdae adds. When Chanyeol looks at him, he finds him staring longingly at Jongin whose messy brown hair can be seen inside the kitchen.  
  
It reminds Chanyeol of someone. “How’s Byun Baekhyun doing?”  
  
Jongdae’s eyes leave Jongin’s figure and focus on Chanyeol. “He’s doing really well. Do you miss him?”  
  
Chanyeol laughs. “Like death,” he replies jokingly.  
  
Sometimes, they get attached to the boys. Some of them leave a deep mark that it’s hard to erase. Although Chanyeol and Jongdae haven’t been working at the institute for a very long time in comparison to Minseok or the rest, they’ve seen their fair share of boys. Names and faces that stay with them.  
  
“His voice is unbelievable! I’d say he’s even better than me, but I’m hard to beat,” Jongdae tells him, with proud grin.  
  
“How’s he doing in the program?” Chanyeol asks laughing. He drinks water, distracted, almost spilling some of it.  
  
“Well…” The hesitation in Jongdae makes Chanyeol put his glass back on the table and pay attention to his friend. “Regarding his studies, he’s doing excellent.”  
  
“What’s wrong then?”  
  
“He’s getting along really well with Taeho,” Jongdae says quietly. “They’re becoming quite close.”  
  
“That charming bastard,” Chanyeol mutters, unable to hide a smile.  
  
“Who?” Jongdae tilts his head with the question. “Taeho?”  
  
“No, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol replies chuckling. When he sees Jongdae’s still confused face, he says, “Nevermind.”  
  
“Whatever.” Jongdae sighs. “They don’t cause much trouble in the classroom. But I don’t know what happens outside of it.”  
  
What the boys do outside of class, Jongdae only gets glimpses of it. Chanyeol is only made a little more aware of it, through the sessions and his talks with the superintendent or some officers.  
  
"Taeho was lighting a cigarette the other day, in the middle of class, while he was doing the exercises I gave to them." Jongdae shakes his head. "He's a smart guy. But his conduct... I can't say it leaves a lot to be desired, because they're in juvenile prison."  
  
"Where do they get the cigarettes from?" Chanyeol wonders quietly.  
  
Jongdae shrugs. "Would you stop them if you knew how they get them?"  
  
"Honestly..." Chanyeol takes a few moments to think about it. "I wouldn't. It's not good for their health, but at the same time, it's one of the few things they have that makes their lives seem a little bit more normal."  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Summer makes the days inside the office harder to bear. Minseok has moved the plant next to the window so it can get a lot more light. Both Minseok and Chanyeol make sure to water it often. It's funny how both doctors feel the need to take care of the plant as much as the boys. Chanyeol smiles at the thought, as he pours water all around the pot, making sure most of the potting soil is covered.  
  
A sudden shout coming the courtyard startles him, making him almost drop the plastic cup he's holding.  
  
Chanyeol leans over the window. The sun is shining bright and it takes a while for his eyes to get used to it. There's an uproar building in the courtyard; most of the boys and the policemen are shouting. Chanyeol's first thought is that a mutiny is starting, but he soon notices policemen separating boys from each other. From above, he can see Moonkyu being pulled away to one side; it doesn't surprise him.  
  
The constant shouting doesn't let him hear anything distinguishable.  
  
BANG!  
  
A gun goes off. An officer shoots once into the sky.  
  
BANG!  
  
Twice.  
  
While Chanyeol's heart goes crazy inside his chest, arms shaking as he grips tightly the window frame, the riot calms down. More officers come to take the boys away from each other. There are moving them to different sides of the courtyard.  
  
In the middle of the chaos, he sees Byun Baekhyun letting himself be pulled away. He seems in shock, not fully understanding what's going on. Near him, Taeho is being held by an officer, kicking his legs up in the air and shouting something. He seems to be looking towards the place where Moonkyu and Joohyuk are.  
  
Gang fights are quite common outside of prison. Inside, they're almost like everyday routine.  
  
Chanyeol takes one last look at Baekhyun from above. The boy's being taken away by Officer Oh, whose hat had fallen off in the middle of the riot. Chanyeol breathes more easily after seeing Baekhyun leave the courtyard. This was probably the first gang fight he's seen in prison. Chanyeol wonders whether he's seen others before he came here.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
_Byun Baekhyun has asked for therapy again, Doctor,_ Superintendent Kim said to Chanyeol when he first arrived to the institute the following Monday. Though it was unexpected, it made sense that Baekhyun would want to continue therapy. After arranging his schedule with the administration, Chanyeol set two sessions per week.  
  
That same day, after lunch, there is a knock in the office's door. Chanyeol opens it to find Officer Oh standing behind Byun Baekhyun. It's been a month and a few days since the last time Chanyeol saw this image.  
  
He smiles, stepping aside to let them in. Officer Oh frees Baekhyun's wrists and leaves.  
  
"Good afternoon, Baekhyun," Chanyeol greets him calmly.  
  
"Hello, Doc." Baekhyun grins as he plops down on the couch, on the same spot he always sat on. "Did you miss me?" He tilts his head looking deceitfully innocent.  
  
Chanyeol chuckles. "It seems like _you_ did, Baekhyun." He takes a seat on his usual spot. "May I ask why you're back?"  
  
Baekhyun chews on his lower lip. "Uhm... things are... not going how I thought they would."  
  
Chanyeol remembers their last session, how optimistic Baekhyun seemed. The boy in front of him now is missing a bit of that spark of confidence.  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well... I'm not doing so well in the program. When Professor Kim explains stuff, I get it. But when it's time to actually do the work myself, it's harder." Baekhyun's hands fall back into the pattern of pulling loose threads from the leather of the couch. "Hey... this is worse than when I first started coming here," he says pulling out an entire thread.  
  
"Don't break stuff from the office, Baekhyun." Chanyeol sighs. "What you're saying doesn't seem so bad. At least you understand things in class. That's very important."  
  
Baekhyun nods absentmindedly. "Yeah. I just‒ I want to do better."  
  
"Does Professor Kim give you homework?" Baekhyun nods. "Do you do your homework?" Baekhyun shakes his head. Chuckling, Chanyeol leans forward. "Mmm... I'm guessing that's where the problem is."  
  
"Don't mock me, Doc." Baekhyun is almost pouting as he looks at Chanyeol.  
  
"I'm not. All I'm saying is that maybe the solution is doing the homework." When Baekhyun says nothing, he adds, "Is that the only reason you came here for?"  
  
It takes a few moments for Baekhyun to reply. He slowly starts shaking his head, until he says, "no".  
  
"Ah... I see. Then, why are you here, Baekhyun?" Again, Baekhyun doesn't reply. "I've heard that you've been getting along with some of the other inmates..."  
  
"Yeah!" Baekhyun's expression changes; he suddenly sits up straight. "I've been getting closer to Jungkook. He's a cute little guy... He told me what happened." Baekhyun's face hardens.  
  
"Care to tell me what happened?"  
  
Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol for a considerate amount of time. "He was framed. It's unbelievable!" Baekhyun punches the cushion of the couch with his fists. "He wasn't even in the place. At least that's what he told me. That he had nothing to do with the robbery. But he doesn't know who did it."  
  
Chanyeol listens attentively, nodding along. The way Baekhyun opens his eyes widely as he tells Chanyeol; all of this shows that he firmly believes Jungkook's story.  
  
When Jungkook first came to the institute, Chanyeol himself believed it too. Yet, it was hard to prove and Chanyeol could only give his opinion ‒ and be listened to ‒ about Jungkook's mental health, which was fine. Luckily, from what other people tell him, Jungkook is still fine, despite having been framed by someone during trial. Chanyeol suspects it was by someone with authority, but that's an opinion he has to keep quiet about.  
  
"I remember when you asked me whether I was seen as Jungkook or Won," Baekhyun reminds him. "I'm not like Jungkook. I was right there at the place I shouldn't have been in. I wasn't framed. I'm not innocent."  
  
"Do they see you as Won, then?"  
  
"I‒I've adapted myself to prison life, I think. I'm... closer to Taeho." A surprising blush starts forming on the boy's cheeks. "I think they see me as Won now."  
  
It's not exactly what Chanyeol wanted to hear. He has to repress a disappointed and unprofessional sigh.  
  
"What do you talk about with Taeho?"  
  
Baekhyun lifts his head. "Oh. Just this and that." He waves his hand around, with a pleased smile on his face.  
  
"His charges?"  
  
Surprised, Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol. Then, he nods. "He's taught me all the tricks to turn on a car without keys and all the good places to sell car parts in Busan." Baekhyun smirks.  
  
"Useful information, I see." Chanyeol says nodding. "Are you planning on using it in the future?"  
  
Baekhyun laughs loudly, openly, throwing his head back. It's the first time Chanyeol sees Baekhyun laugh like this. "No, Doc. Don't worry about that." There's a glint of mischief on his eyes when he looks back at Chanyeol.  
  
When the session is over, they stand up from their seats at the same time Officer Oh knocks on the door.  
  
"See you next time, Doc," Baekhyun tells him after he gets handcuffed.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
“I did my homework, Doc,” Baekhyun says at the same time Officer Oh releases the cuffs. The officer lifts an eyebrow at Chanyeol, curious about the boy’s statement, but says nothing. He steps back and lets Chanyeol close the door while Baekhyun goes to his usual spot on the couch.  
  
“That’s good, Baekhyun. Was it difficult? Helpful?”  
  
The boy’s head bounces; not a yes nor a no. “I had a lot of questions.” He purses his lips. “Professor Kim is a very patient man. Don’t tell him I’m praising him!” He adds quickly, making Chanyeol chuckle.  
  
Baekhyun tells him more about classes and how different it is going to class and then going to the program. It’s another level of difficulty.  
  
“Sometimes, I don’t feel ready,” Baekhyun confesses. “I feel like my grades will be too low to make a university look past my record.” His voice shakes a bit as he speaks, while he keeps his fingers linked on his lap.  
  
“Baekhyun, those fears you have are quite common here. But let me tell you, many of the inmates who joined the program managed to get into college. It’s possible.”  
  
The young boy lifts his head, looking at Chanyeol with both eyebrows raised. His mouth opens, but he closes it instantly. Then, he tries again. “I hope so.”  
  
After that, they remain in silence. Chanyeol takes this time to observe Baekhyun. The boy used to show a very carefree attitude in the past, always letting his limbs take over the space around him. Now, though, Baekhyun sits with his knees pressed together, looking down at his lap, like a scolded child.  
  
“What’s on you mind right now, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asks quietly.  
  
The boy lifts his head up. “I was‒ am thinking about my mistakes.”  
  
Chanyeol nods, a sign for him to continue.  
  
“I made many back there in Bucheon. I felt that… that if I had friends, there was nothing I couldn’t do.” His voice sounds distant.  
  
“Have you talked to any of your friends since you came here?”  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head. “No. I don’t want to.”  
  
As he doesn’t add anything, Chanyeol prods, “Why?”  
  
Lifting his head, Baekhyun shows him a bitter smile. “I’ve realized they’re not the friends I want to have.” He sighs. “They’re the main reason I’m here.” Chanyeol notices him closing his fists. “I only went into that house because of them. They asked for me to break in and take whatever of value I could find.”  
  
“Why did they ask you to do it?” Chanyeol asks. “Alone.”  
  
“I don’t really know what they wanted, aside from valuable shit. Probably to sell it later.” Baekhyun scoffs, eyes focused now on the plant in from of him. “How cliché is that? I was friends with the wrong crowd.”  
  
“Why were you friends with them?”  
  
Baekhyun shrugs. He leans back and stretches his legs under the coffee table. “I… I guess because they seemed cool. I wanted to be a part of that group. They would tell me I was cool after I joined them. And it was so, so easy to stay with them, if I did things right. One of them took me under his wing…. They were all older than me. I felt like they knew the world and, if I stayed with them, I could become like that.”  
  
“Do you regret your friendship?”  
  
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Baekhyun stays in silence for a few moments. “I do. But at the same time, I liked it. I liked being praised when I did stuff for them. When I was inside the house, all I could think of was their faces.” Baekhyun smirks, seemingly pleased. “What they would say. I could feel their hands patting my shoulder, their eyes on me.” He breathes again and shivers. “I _belonged_ with them.”  
  
“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol startles him.  
  
The boy lifts his head, suddenly unsure, remembering where he is. When he meets Chanyeol’s eyes, he lowers his head again and hunches his back.  
  
“How do you feel when you’re with Taeho? Do you spend time with Kangho?”  
  
“Uhm…” Baekhyun blushes. “I feel like I belong, too. I’m starting to get to know Kangho. He seems cool.” He tilts his head, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t understand what the issue is with Moonkyu, though.”  
  
It’s like Baekhyun is still standing at the shore in the Institute, his calves getting wet. He’s stepping deeper into the sea, and Chanyeol knows that, if he gets more involved, soon he might be swallowed by the current very easily.  
  
“Have you met some other boys here? Aside from Jungkook.”  
  
Baekhyun nods. “I’ve talked to a few of them.” He throws a few names, all of them related one way or another to Kangho. “I once talked to the _Choker_. He’s kinda… I don’t know. He is scary, the way he glares at us.”  
  
Confused, Chanyeol tries to think who that boy is. “Who is the _Choker_?”  
  
“You know… I don’t know his name. They call him that. He glares at everyone, almost got into a fight with Moonkyu but they were separated. Of course, it was Moonkyu’s fault. He provoked the guy. He called out to him and, I remember, he put his hand on his own neck and squeezed.”  
  
Chills travel down Chanyeol’s spine.  
  
_Yoongi._  
  
Yoongi doesn’t talk about the rest of the boys during their sessions. They’re mostly spent discussing different topics. Not once did Yoongi bring to the office the fact that he’s being bullied. It wasn’t even mentioned by any of the officers. Chanyeol takes a mental note to talk about it in their next session.  
  
A sudden, terribly timed knock interrupts the session, which is almost over. Officer Oh must be in a hurry, because the knocking increases.  
  
“Doctor Park! Doctor Park!” It sounds like Officer Choi. “It’s an emergency!”  
  
Chanyeol glances at Baekhyun. They share confused looks before Chanyeol stands up and opens the door to find the officer looking worried.  
  
“What happened?” He tries to keep his voice calm, knowing that in emergency situations he needs to keep a cool mind.  
  
“Officer Oh was attacked by one of the inmates, Min Yoongi,” the officers tells him in a hurry. Then, he notices Baekhyun’s presence in the room and realizes his mistake.  
  
Chanyeol turns towards Baekhyun. “Officer Choi, take Baekhyun back to his cell. Tell me where Officer Oh is.” Then, he tells to Baekhyun, “We’ll have to stop our meeting right now.” The boy nods quietly. “And Baekhyun,” he adds, “you heard nothing.”  
  
“I heard nothing, Doc,” Baekhyun tells him, serious, as he extends his arms for Officer Choi to handcuff him.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
Superintendent Kim rubs his forehead. He looks exhausted. He’s probably younger than he seems but the years working in the institute might have had something to do with his current aspect.  
  
Or it might be Min Yoongi's case.  
  
"How could this happen, Doctor?" the man says, staring straight at Chanyeol. The weight of that stare shows he's partly blaming Chanyeol for the incident.  
  
"With all due respect, Sir, I've said before that Yoongi should be treated at the hospital." Chanyeol tries hard to keep the bite out of his voice. Right after Yoongi's suicide attempt, Chanyeol and the superintendent had a meeting in this same office to discuss how they would proceed.  
  
"But you didn't mention he could‒"  
  
"Sir," Chanyeol interrupts, "he came to the Institute because he assaulted an officer." When the man doesn't reply, only rubs his temples, Chanyeol adds, "I'd like to start the paperwork to transfer him to Seoul."  
  
Superintendent Kim sighs deeply. He stares at him shortly before nodding. "Very well. We'll do it as soon as possible." After a few moments of silence, he asks Chanyeol, "Do you really believe he doesn't remember it?"  
  
Chanyeol nods. "It's not uncommon. Patients with psychotic disorders most of the time claim they have very little memories of what happens during their episodes." Chanyeol keeps his explanation quite simply, as the man seems to now take his words and believe them, unlike a few months ago. "How's Officer Oh?"  
  
"Better. He was lucky Min Yoongi didn't take his gun in the struggle."  
  
All Chanyeol remembers about Officer Oh before he calmed Yoongi down and took him away was the blood pouring out of the officer's mouth. Looking back, Chanyeol realizes how understanding the guy had been; Yoongi had no bruises or cuts.  
  
"How many days will he be out of commission?" Chanyeol asks.  
  
"Not many more. He got a few stitches done. Though he can't do hard work for awhile, so he's gonna move to the entrance again. I'd rather he doesn't interact with the inmates for a while."  
  
That makes sense to Chanyeol, who nods. Oh Sehun is young and he might be easily impressionable. This could mark him for the future. Chanyeol feels like he should have a small talk with him.  
  
"Superintendent Kim, if that is all, I must leave now. I'm going to contact the hospital."  
  
The man nods and bids him goodbye. Chanyeol quickly leaves the office, rushing back to his own. He has to get everything in order; the sooner Yoongi leaves, the better it'll be for him and for the rest of the people in the institute.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
After Kim Jongwoon leaves Chanyeol’s office in his house, the psychiatrist closes the door. He can hear the sound of his patient’s car driving away a few minutes later. Chanyeol walks up to his notebook and writes down how much he upped the dose of his antidepressants and then puts the money in the locked metal box inside a drawer. He checks the time; the bank is still open. He could go deposit the cash into his account.  
  
His phone beeps.  
  
_a fight in the cafeteria_ , Minseok's text reads, _just letting you know_  
  
Shit.  
  
_who's in it?_ , he replies back  
  
_the usual suspects_  
  
Chanyeol can definitely guess which boys were involved in the fight. Having to deal with gangs and special cases is exhausting. Chanyeol plops down on his bed, face up, staring at the ceiling.  
  
It's moments like this when he asks himself why he's doing this. When he first came to the institute, he had the dream of being able to help and change these boys' lives. But as time went on, he learned that some people don't want to change. Actually, as a psychiatrist, he knew that already. Prison was just a reality check.  
  
Some of the boys see prison as a way to redeem themselves, or a wipe out of their mistakes and a second chance. They're the easiest to work with, Chanyeol knows. It's all shown in the way they go from looking downwards when they first come to the institute, to the way they have their head lifted when they leave. Those are the ones that give Chanyeol hope.  
  
Others, like Moonkyu, are the scary ones, the ones whose lives Chanyeol can't change. They feel no remorse; they only feel validated by their own actions. They wear their charges like a badge of honor and they're the ones that, unfortunately, in the environment of a prison, lead. Kangho showed some improvement when he first came, but it all went to waste when he started antagonizing Moonkyu.  
  
Boys like Taeho are stuck in the middle. Not fully proud of themselves, but not entirely regretful.  
  
Then, lastly, there are boys like Byun Baekhyun, whose actions don't match his words. He's said he wants to do better, but he still makes the same mistakes he did to end up in prison.  
  
_the byun boy was involved too_ , Minseok sends. _he kicked Joohyuk. ask him if he's ever done martial arts before. Joohyuk is in the infirmary_  
  
Chanyeol throws his head back against the pillow and sighs.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
When Chanyeol reaches the entrance to the Institute the day following the fight, he's greeted by Officer Oh with a still swollen face.  
  
"Officer Oh, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Better," the guy replies quietly.  
  
"Uhm... I've been wanting to talk to you. Is it possible for you to come to my office at any moment of the day?"  
  
The officer looks at him curiously, but nods. "After my shift is over, at six."  
  
"Great!" Chanyeol smiles at him and walks through the door. The bars make a loud clanking sound when they're closed.  
  
The desk in his office is full of papers that he has to organize. But before he gets to that, he waters the plant. While he does so, he takes a look at the courtyard, empty as always at this hour of the day. As midday comes, the concrete will be too hot and not many of the boys will walk around the place; most of them might stay hidden under the shadows the facility gives to the courtyard.  
  
The day goes by. The inmates come and go. All through the sessions, Chanyeol rebuilds what happened in the cafeteria the day before. It's exactly what always happens, a little provocation, a lot of pent up anger, aggressive personalities. Chanyeol is thankful that he's not treating many of the gang members.  
  
In the afternoon, Officer Choi brings Baekhyun to his office. The man is older than Officer Oh, far more experienced in prison and someone that understands how it works. Chanyeol remembers that it was him who shot the gun during the brawl in the courtyard. Clearly, a man aware of his power.  
  
"Hello, Baekhyun," Chanyeol greets the unusually quiet boy after the officer's left them alone.  
  
"Hey, Doc." The reply is nothing but a murmur.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
It seems a little too soon to discuss the incident, but if Baekhyun feels like talking about it, Chanyeol might as well let him.  
  
"Kind of..." The boy leans against the backrest of the couch, eyes not lifting from the coffee table. “Not really."  
  
"Care to tell me what happened?"  
  
Baekhyun starts telling him step by step of what happened; how it was Moonkyu who started it and Taeho was the first one to react. Baekhyun wasn't going to be a part of it, but when Joohyuk tried to hit Taeho, Baekhyun felt the urge to hit him back.  
  
"You sent him to the infirmary."  
  
"I... was not in my right mind. I used to take hapkido when I was little, so I went with what I know. I knew which places would hurt the most."  
  
He doesn't sound proud, unlike some of the inmates would in his situation. If anything, he sounds sour. He plays with the seam of his pants.  
  
"He deserved worse. So much worse."  
  
Baekhyun's voice changes in a second. His fingers move from the side of his legs to grip the fabric over his knees tightly.  
  
"He disgusts me!" Baekhyun spits out.  
  
"Why does he?"  
  
"Everyone does. They all do. They're... this... I don't want to be a part of this anymore. Moonkyu can rot in prison. Kangho too."  
  
Suddenly, Baekhyun lifts his head and Chanyeol sees the redness of his eyes and a few tears start falling.  
  
"Baekhyun, what did they do?"  
  
"I won't be involved with them anymore. I don't know how I'm going to do it. But it's over," he says through gritted teeth and tensed shoulders.  
  
"I can help you, but you need to tell me what is going on."  
  
Baekhyun takes a deep breath. "I didn't know... I had no idea why they were here. I thought most of them were in similar situations to me, or Jinho, or Taeho himself. You know, stuff like robbery, fraud, stealing."  
  
"How did you find out?"  
  
"Moonkyu yelled at Kangho, in the middle of the fight, that he wouldn't mind killing again, before he pulled out a pocket knife. He was stopped before he could actually do it."  
  
Baekhyun breathes loudly. Chanyeol can see his chest going up and down quickly, agitated by the memories.  
  
"But that's nothing," he continues. Chanyeol knows what's coming. "I asked around. Jungkook helped me find out more about it. All this time, no one of them had told me... I don't want to be involved with a bunch of fucking rapists!" He yells in the quietness of the room.  
  
His fingers don't let go of the fabric of his pants.  
  
"I was so naive. A fucking idiot! Thinking that they were cool, that I fit in with them, that I was like them. Never in my life would I ever do such a thing."  
  
One of his hands lets go of his pants to hastily wipe the tears streaming down his face. Chanyeol stands up to pull out a box of tissues and places it in front of Baekhyun, who thanks him quietly.  
  
"You're not like them, Baekhyun. You care for people. You value people. Maybe a little too much sometimes."  
  
Baekhyun sobs and chuckles at the same time.  
  
Chanyeol sits down again, paying close attention to Baekhyun. The boy's shoulder are high with tension as he grips his pants again. Whenever he sobs, he trembles. He looks so much younger than his age right at that moment.  
  
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol begins. "You have made mistakes and you are aware of how wrong you were when you did them. In here, you have the option of letting those mistakes define you, like Moonkyu does, or you can leave them in the past, learning from them, starting a different life when you leave the institute, like so many other boys that have sat where you're seating right now."  
  
After a few moments in silence, Baekhyun wipes his nose and starts nodding. "Yes."  
  
"Yes to what, Baekhyun?"  
  
"I need to change. I know what my mistakes were," he replies with certain determination in his tone.  
  
"Go on," Chanyeol encourages him.  
  
"I wanted to fit in, without caring about whom I was fitting in with. These guys ‒ and my friends back in Bucheon ‒, I've placed them on a pedestal they haven't earned." He takes a deep breath. "I need to be more careful with whose attention I want."  
  
Baekhyun rubs his pants before looking up at Chanyeol. He leans back against the couch and stretches his legs under the coffee table. Although his hands don't leave his lap, they don't play with the seam of his suit.  
  
"Doc... I..." Chanyeol lifts his eyebrows. The hesitation in Baekhyun makes him curious, as the boy starts chewing his lip. "There's something I haven't told you."  
  
"In order for me to help you, you have to be honest." Chanyeol offers him a smile.  
  
"My mom came to visit me."  
  
That is unexpected. Chanyeol remembers that Baekhyun only talked on the phone a few times with his mother, but neither her nor her husband had come to see him. Chanyeol regrets not having known that. He would have liked to meet the woman.  
  
"Oh," he says. "When did she?"  
  
"Back in July. Right after the semester was over, she came to see me. A few times, actually." Baekhyun looks down at his lap again. He runs his nails over the seam of his pants.  
  
"What did you talk about with her?"  
  
"How I was doing here. If I was eating. She asked me what I'm going to do after my sentence is over. I told her about the exams’ program."  
  
Chanyeol nods. "What did she say?"  
  
" _Make sure to pass them._ "  
  
Chanyeol closes his eyes and breathes in. "That's… You will pass them. You're working hard on your studies. Did you tell her that?"  
  
Baekhyun shakes his head. "When she came, I wasn't doing well. Uhm... the main reason I asked for more therapy is because I had started to feel like it was impossible. Everything was impossible."  
  
Because of his mother's words, Baekhyun must have felt a blow.  
  
"What did you do that day? After your mother left, the first time she came."  
  
Biting his lip, Baekhyun sits up straight again. "I spent the free time I had that day with Taeho, at the program's classes."  
  
Chanyeol nods. It starts to make sense, why Baekhyun wanted to have more sessions and why he would get involved with Kangho's gang. Chanyeol can't help but wonder if there's a correlation with Baekhyun's life in Bucheon.  
  
"When you broke into the house..." Baekhyun is startled and looks at Chanyeol with eyes wide open in fear. "How was it planned?"  
  
"It wasn't." Baekhyun tilts his head, eyes moving towards the ceiling. "That day the guys told me to do it."  
  
Leaning on the edge of his seat, Chanyeol asks, "You broke in at night. What did you do that morning?"  
  
It takes Baekhyun a few moments to remember. "I failed an exam in school. Hid the grade from my parents." Not only does he blush, but he also lowers his head in shame.  
  
"Baekhyun, you don't have to be embarrassed about that in here with me. Don't worry."  
  
The boy nods. It doesn't seem like he's going to continue talking, so Chanyeol decides it's time to change the mood of their conversation.  
  
"Have the rehearsals for the Theatre Project started yet?"  
  
Baekhyun welcomes the change with a soft smile on his lips. "No." He shakes his head. "We're still working on different parts of the story. Director Zhang can get a bit too excited about new ideas."  
  
Chanyeol laughs when he sees how Baekhyun's eyes brighten.  
  
It isn't long before Officer Choi returns. When Baekhyun leaves the office, he looks less upset than when he walked in.  
  
Chanyeol can only hope that from now on Baekhyun will continue moving forwards.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
After the last boy leaves, Chanyeol stays in his office for another hour. He takes his time to save and organize the audios he has on his computer. He waters the plant one last time, and then texts his sister to ask for photos of his nephews. He hasn’t seen them in so long.  
  
He's cooing at the photos when there's a knock on the door that he was expecting.  
  
"Come in," he calls.  
  
Officer Oh walks in, looking a little confused.  
  
"Evening, Doctor," he says.  
  
Chanyeol stands up and motions for him to take a seat by the coffee table. The officer chooses the side of the couch closer to where Chanyeol's seat is.  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
"Fine." It's clear from his furrowed eyebrows that he doesn't understand why Chanyeol wants to talk with him.  
  
"I wanted to ask you about the incident with Yoongi." The officer opens his mouth but says nothing and nods. "You didn't attack him back, Officer. I wanted to ask why."  
  
"Well... I already knew he had problems." Chanyeol tries not to cringe at the wording; such a simplistic way of saying it. "I couldn't hurt him."  
  
"Not even to defend yourself?"  
  
Officer Oh shakes his head. "No, Doctor... I was afraid, though. And I could have hit him back. But the way he looked was so strange, so fierce. He seemed out of it."  
  
Chanyeol nods. "Do you like working here, Officer?"  
  
"Sometimes. Not always." He purses his lips. "Are you psychoanalyzing me?" He narrows his eyes, suddenly looking tense.  
  
Chanyeol laughs. "No. Sorry. I was just curious. In comparison to my colleague, Doctor Kim, I haven't been working here for long. Most of the officers I've met are very confident in their authority." ‒ which was a nice way of saying, they're not afraid to abuse their power ‒ "You seem to show more respect for the inmates."  
  
"How would you know, Doctor?"  
  
"You're far more gentle with them when you leave them at my office than some other officers." The image of Officer Choi pulling one of boys away after handcuffing him is stuck in Chanyeol's mind.  
  
"These kids are already in prison, which I know it sucks. Even being in a cell at a police station is bad enough." The officer rolls his eyes. "I don't want to make it even worse for them."  
  
Smiling, Chanyeol nods. "Thank you for coming here, Officer Oh."  
  
"Sehun," he replies. "But only when it's just the two of us. Or we're here, Doctor.” He gestures at the office.  
  
"Okay, Sehun." Chanyeol extends his arm to shake his hand. "Chanyeol, when we're alone."  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
The last session with Baekhyun, as he doesn’t need more therapy, ends with the boy leaning against the back of the couch, one leg placed over his knee, one hand pulling at the loose thread of the leather of the couch. His eyes, though, they stay on Chanyeol's face for the entire session.  
  
"Thank you, Doc," Baekhyun tells him.  
  
"What for?" Chanyeol fights back a smile.  
  
"Helping me."  
  
Chanyeol shakes his head. "All the hard work was yours. You're the one doing well in the program, helping Professor Kim in the choir. I've heard ‒ why didn't you tell me? ‒I've heard you're even helping build the stage for the project."  
  
Baekhyun fakely gasps. "Who ratted me out?"  
  
"It was Professor Kim," Chanyeol tells him, chuckling.  
  
"That bastard," Baekhyun says under his breath, but clear enough for Chanyeol to hear.  
  
Chanyeol laughs.  
  
There's a knock on the door. Sehun is there to take Baekhyun away. With his face completely healed, he greets Chanyeol again. It's nice to see him smile.  
  
"Goodbye, Doc," Baekhyun says.  
  
"Goodbye, Baekhyun."  
  
"Oh!" Baekhyun turns around again after a few steps. "Happy Chuseok!"  
  
"You too, Baekhyun."  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
When Chanyeol closes the door, he finds the living room completely empty. He takes off his shoes, looking around at the small house that he used to call his home. Chanyeol still has the scar from when he was three years old and he ran into the cabinet in the living room. The cabinet is still there, next to the big sofa facing what used to be a small TV with an antenna and is now a LED screen that takes over most of the wall.  
  
He steps inside. The house is strangely quiet; he thought he'd find the chaos that the Park family always makes.  
  
"Oh! Yeollie!" comes Yura's voice from the kitchen door.  
  
As Chanyeol doesn't see her as often now, she looks older. Her long black hair is still the same, and so are her big eyes, like his own. He smiles.  
  
"Yah! Don't call me that! I'm too old for that," he whines.  
  
"You'll be always be my little Yeollie." She laughs, coming closer to envelop him in one of those big hugs they started giving each other after they both passed their adolescence.  
  
Chanyeol bends down, spreading his legs to make himself a little shorter for her.  
  
"Where's mom and dad?" He asks, once they break away.  
  
"Last minute shopping." Yura shakes her head. "Mom was so worried about tomorrow's food that she forgot we have to have dinner today. She dragged dad away."  
  
Chanyeol drops his bags by the sofa and takes off his coat. He hums in response. "What about Jinki and the kids?"  
  
"They're on their way. I came earlier to help mom."  
  
His nephews are probably taller now than the last time he saw them. It’s been almost four years since he moved to Daegu, but at times like this, when he realizes of the things he's missing by living in another city, it feels like it's been ages.  
  
"So!" Yura exclaims, bending over the couch to take a look at his gifts. "What did you bring?" She peeks inside one of the paper bags.  
  
"How old are you? You sound like a child," he complains; yet, he takes a few bags and sits down next to her. "This one is for you, but you can't open it until tomorrow."  
  
Yura tries to take the paper bag from him but fails and huffs.  
  
"This one's for mom and dad." He puts the Lotte bag on the side.  
  
"Oh!" His sister's eyebrows shoot up. "What is it?" She quickly grabs it before Chanyeol can stop it. "Oh my!" She looks up at him.  
  
Chanyeol feels his cheeks warming up. He's sure his ears are probably red. "They weren't as expensive as you think," he mumbles.  
  
Yura gives him a judging look before pulling out a small box of pine mushrooms. "This is the first time you bring this for Chuseok." She stares at him for a few moments, suspiciously. "Ok, what is going on?"  
  
"Nothing, I swear." Chanyeol sighs. "I just..."  
  
"Are you trying to compensate for leaving us? Are you apologizing?"  
  
Chanyeol makes a distressed sound. "No! I didn't leave you. I'm only a few hours away..."  
  
"But you don't come here often. Mom misses you," Yura says, patting his knee. "Dad too. He doesn't say it, but he does miss you."  
  
"I call almost everyday," he replies petulantly. "I talk to them often."  
  
"You know it's not the same."  
  
Chanyeol nods. Yura puts the bags back on the floor, taking the opportunity to peek her own gift.  
  
"What prompted this?"  
  
Not knowing how to answer, Chanyeol shrugs. He thinks of his life back at the institute, his work with the boys, his outside patients. Everything is good. He even has made friends.  
  
Chanyeol leans against the sofa and stretches his feet in front of himself. His toes touch the underside of the coffee table. He plays for a few seconds, rubbing his toes on the wood. It reminds him of Baekhyun.  
  
"Some of the boys are so alone in there." He doesn't need to say where; Yura was one of the people who supported him the most when he decided to work in a juvenile prison. "Since most of them come from other cities, their families don't visit often."  
  
"You're not serving a sentence, though, Chanyeol."  
  
Chanyeol turns to face her. Her hand rubs his thigh, soothingly. He catches it and links their fingers. "I know. It's not like I was escaping from something."  
  
"You weren't. You wanted to try something different; you told me so yourself." Yura's smile is small, but it's enough to make calm him. "Is it worth it?"  
  
He takes a few minutes to answer. "At times, it is. Most of the boys are easy to work with. Then, there are special cases." Chanyeol thinks of Yoongi. "Overall, it can be very fulfilling."  
  
"Do you miss the hospital?"  
  
Chanyeol bounces his head, in a yes and no way. "Not just the hospital, but the people there too." He thinks of Kyungsoo. "I come back sometimes, when I need to. Doctor Gong likes to discuss some of the patients with me."  
  
He remembers when his director asked him if he wanted to go work at the extension of Seoul National University Hospital's Department of Neuropsychiatry. It appealed to Chanyeol instantly, since he was specializing in adolescents. The change of scenery was tempting too, Gimcheon was a smaller city than Seoul. Although, in the end, Chanyeol ended up choosing to live in Daegu, the idea of leaving the big metropolitan city behind helped him decide to transfer.  
  
"I like both places. But maybe..."  
  
There are loud noises coming from the other side of the door, little kids' voices. His two nephews burst into the living room screaming, arguing about who's going to play a video game first. Behind them, Jinki sighs, sounding exhausted.  
  
Yura chuckles and the boys run to hug her.  
  
"MOM!"  
  
"Hey! Did you miss me? How did dad treat you?" She asks them.  
  
Jinki shakes his head and leans down to kiss his wife in the middle of the boys yelling.  
  
Suddenly, the youngest, Hyunki, notices him. "Uncle!"  
  
Chanyeol finds himself with his lap covered by a six year old boy who didn’t know how to write when Chanyeol left Seoul. Soon, they’re joined by a nine year old boy too. "Hello, boys!"  
  
Both of his nephews talk at the speed of light and Chanyeol basks in that. He talks back just as fast. Chaos begins with the grins of the two kids.  
  
When Chanyeol's parents arrive and he's enveloped by his mother's hug, he thinks that _maybe... it's time to come back_.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
It's getting tiring, feeling like a strange third wheel. Chanyeol looks up from his food to see Jongdae stealing glances at Jongin, who, despite his blushing, glances right back at Jongdae. They've been dancing around each other for months already. Although the situation can get on Chanyeol's nerves, catching Jongdae's shy smile is entertaining.  
  
When Jongdae realizes he's been caught, he clears his throat and pretends to find his food to be more interesting than their young waiter.  
  
"Do something," Chanyeol sighs.  
  
"I wish it were that simple." The corner of Jongdae's lips lift up, but it's not a full smile. "How are you?" Jongdae easily turns the conversation towards Chanyeol.  
  
"Good," Chanyeol replies, mouth full with mandu.  
  
"Look. We've been friends for a while and I know when there's something on your mind." Chanyeol can't help but smile at that. "Now, spill. And I don't mean the food." Jongdae makes a grossed out face, looking down at Chanyeol's mouth.  
  
Chanyeol quickly swallows and drinks water. "Ever since Chuseok, I've been thinking... of going back to Seoul."  
  
Jongdae's eyebrows go up, but he doesn't say anything.  
  
"I miss my family, the friends I had there, the city, the hospital," Chanyeol explains, putting down his chopsticks.  
  
"Mmm... I see." Jongdae nods. "That makes sense. When will you be going? We should throw you a goodbye party!" He gasps, excited. "We could go to a _noraebang_!"  
  
Chanyeol laughs. "That'd be nice." He looks down at his hands. "I haven't decided yet."  
  
"If you're thinking about it, it's probably because you need it."  
  
At that moment, Jongdae doesn't smile at him, but his eyes are soft. It reminds Chanyeol of Yura when he first told him he wanted to work in Gimcheon.  
  
"End of December, probably."  
  
"That's great! We have time to plan out the party. We should invite Minseok, Sehun‒"  
  
Jongdae cuts himself off when Jongin comes to place a new jar of water on their table. He smiles at the waiter and waits until he leaves.  
  
In a whisper he adds, "I could invite Jongin."  
  
Chanyeol snorts. "If you ever dare to talk to him."  
  
"Oh, I will." Jongdae sounds scarily confident. "Do you have a pen?" He asks Chanyeol, who looks down at his shirt pocket. Then, Jongdae pulls out a paper napkin and grabs the pen.  
  
"You're so romantic." Chanyeol chuckles, as Jongdae writes down his phone number followed by a strange smiley face.  
  
"I'm only doing this so that you can have more people for your party," Jongdae tells him cheekily.  
  
"Yeah, right."  
  
Jongdae smiles at him. Chanyeol will miss him too, and Minseok and Sehun, even Superintendent Kim. But he knows that it might be time to go back. It might be hard to say goodbye after all the things he's experienced at the institute. The idea of going back home pulls him harder, though.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
The auditorium is full when Chanyeol walks in. There's the usual chaotic noise of the inmates whenever they're together in the same place. There's shouting and yelling, laughter, the sound of the chairs. All together like this, they seem like a bunch of high schoolers at their school's auditorium. But the orange jumpsuits and the policemen walking around the place, plus the handcuffs in each of the boys' hands, are reminders that they're in prison.  
  
Chanyeol heads to the designated space for administratives, authorities and family of certain inmates. He takes a look around to see which faces he recognizes and finds Jongdae and Minseok saving a seat for him.  
  
"Hey," he greets, joining them.  
  
"Just in time," Jongdae tells him. "Superintendent Kim is about to go on stage."  
  
Chanyeol settles straight on his seat and looks at the uniformed man in front. Superintendent Kim Junmyeon is a man that has gained the respect of most of the people in the institute. He's served for years; practically owns the place. Although he can be authoritative and strict, Chanyeol knows that sometimes he can be understanding.  
  
"Good evening, everybody!" Superintendent Kim speaks into the microphone. "Welcome to Gimcheon Boy Correctional Institute." He turns towards Chanyeol's side, where the families and, Chanyeol notices them now, a few photographers are. "In this institute, we..."  
  
Chanyeol has heard this speech before in the almost four years he's been here. Sighing, he blocks the man's voice. He tries to look around himself and see if he recognizes any of the parents. Some he has talked with, others he has never seen before. He keeps glancing around until he's nudged by Jongdae's elbow.  
  
"You're too tall to do that and still pretend you're paying attention. Stay still," Jongdae tells him in a harsh whisper.  
  
Chanyeol is about to retort, but Jongdae shushes him.  
  
With a shrug, Chanyeol lowers his head. They're not the only ones whispering, though. He can hear a murmur coming from the boys. Head still lowered, he looks to the side. He finds a couple of boys talking to each other and suddenly quieting down when Officer Wu walks by.  
  
Further back, he sees something new. There's one boy, Joohyuk, passing two packets of cigarettes to another boy. No words are exchanged before the boy puts the packets inside his socks. Chanyeol raises his eyebrow at that.  
  
"I would like to introduce you to our art director, Zhang Yixing, who's been in charge of the Arts Program and this project," The superintendent says and it brings Chanyeol's attention back to the stage.  
  
From the side, Chanyeol sees a young man walking to join the Superintendent.  
  
"Welcome everyone." Although his voice sounds stable, he looks sleepy. "The boys and I are very happy that you could come to see this show we've been preparing for months." He smiles and a dimple shows up on his cheek.  
  
Although he has never crossed paths with the man before, Chanyeol thinks he looks familiar. It takes him a few seconds until he realizes that the man looks like a grown up version of Taeho. Chanyeol fights back a chuckle when he realizes that Byun Baekhyun has a type. On the side, Jongdae judges him.  
  
"In the beginning, I had an idea of what the show should be about. But after spending so much time with the boys and working together, they came up with their own ideas. Their own stories to tell."  
  
Chanyeol goes through a mental list of all the boys he knows are participating in the show. These are stories he already knows, and fondly he thinks of how each of the boys will express them.  
  
"I'm not going to make you wait any longer. Please, enjoy the show." Director Zhang bows and leaves the stage quickly.  
  
The lights dim down and the thin curtain opens. The chords of a song start playing. A boy Chanyeol doesn't recognize walks on the stage, followed by some enthusiastic whooping coming from the back of the auditorium. The boy kneels on the floor next to a bucket and starts scrubbing it with a cloth. When he opens his mouth to sing, it envelops the audience and Chanyeol feels suddenly pulled into the show.  
  
Not long after, the boy is joined by others. Chanyeol smiles when he sees Jungkook. After him, Baekhyun walks in. All the voices blend together quite well. Chanyeol looks to his side to find Jongdae mouthing along to the words of the song.  
  
Most of the boys have a moment for themselves on the stage. And when it's Baekhyun's turn, Chanyeol's breath catches in his throat.  
  
He sounds amazing.  
  
Jongdae chuckles then, looking amused at Chanyeol's reaction.  
  
In the middle of the stage, Baekhyun stands. His voice owns the melody, makes the song sound beautifully. Chanyeol has no idea how the original song should sound like, but it feels like Baekhyun owns the song; he decides how it should sound.  
  
A sense of pride fills Chanyeol's chest, before a thought crosses his mind. He's never seen Baekhyun's parents; he doesn't know what they look like. Chanyeol takes a quick look around to see if any of the parents present look as proud as he himself feels like.  
  
There is a woman weeping somewhere behind him. She's got a handkerchief in hand, covering part of her face. When she pulls it away, Chanyeol sees Baekhyun's mouth. He smiles, knowing that she came to see this.  
  
The rest of the songs and the stories; some are hard to listen to. In certain parts of the show, he can hear snickers and there are moments when one of boys in the audience yells. But for the most part, they all listen.  
  
These types of moments are rare in prison. Chanyeol's gotten used to the chaos and the problems. He's used to getting texts and calls in the early hours of the morning, being told to come and help. While the boys in the institute are trying to rebuild their lives, Chanyeol has built up a new one without a pressure to do so. Thinking about his life in Seoul brings back some great memories. He thinks back to his sister and his nephews, whose lives he's been missing. He remembers that he hasn't talked to Kyungsoo in more than a week.  
  
The hospital, although it has a changed a bit, is still the place where Chanyeol was formed. Being under Doctor Gong's guidance has been a privilege.  
  
Right now, seeing that he's done what he wanted to do in the institute when he first came, he realizes that maybe it really is time to go home.  
  
Chanyeol's startled by loud clapping. He's missed the last part of the show. He joins in on the cheering, standing up. He looks at Jongdae who's clapping even louder than him.  
  
"They did great!" Chanyeol tells him.  
  
"Yeah, they did," Jongdae replies. "They're amazing kids... And they also had me as a teacher."  
  
Chanyeol pats his shoulder. "You are a great teacher." Jongdae smiles. Then, Chanyeol remembers. "How did they do in the exams?"  
  
"We'll find out mid December."  
  
The boys stand in line on stage, bowing and cheering themselves. On the right side almost in front of Chanyeol, Baekhyun grins widely and waves. Chanyeol turns a bit to see the woman waving back. The man right next to her does it too. Then, when Chanyeol faces the front again, he meets Baekhyun's eyes. The boy tilts his head to the side, grin never leaving his face, as if he is cheekily saying, _I did it_.  
  
Chanyeol nods and claps louder.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
It was his day off when his phone rang. Chanyeol placed the mug filled to the brim with hot chocolate on the coffee table before answering the call. His sister's name flashed on the screen. Chanyeol smiled, remembering that she had promised she would call more often.  
  
"Yeollie!" She greeted him brightly.  
  
"Sis!" Chanyeol replied with equal excitement.  
  
"How are you doing? Do you have everything ready?" Chanyeol could hear the excitement in her voice. In the background, his nephews were yelling loudly.  
  
Chuckling, Chanyeol shook his head. "I've already settled everything with the institute. I'm leaving after Christmas. I have about one more month left. I'll start packing when the time comes."  
  
Chanyeol had already been talking with the hospital to transfer back. This last week had been exhausting to get the right paperwork presented. All in all, it had been a rushed week, and Chanyeol's head had tried to keep up with everything, but he could barely manage.  
  
After a bit of mindless chatter with his sister, she said something that caught Chanyeol's attention. "I needed to ask you something..." The words had sounded off in comparison to the rest of the conversation they'd been having.  
  
"There's a rumour going on, but we don't know if it's in Gimcheon or in a reformatory. Nothing's clear." Chanyeol hummed to let her know he was listening. "Have you heard anything about an officer sexually abusing the kids in the institute?"  
  
Chanyeol gasped and almost dropped the phone. "No, I haven't. I think I would know if it had happened here. I would have known if it had been my kids."  
  
"I know. I know. I'm just checking."  
  
Chanyeol's mind was reeling. "I'm... None of the boys ever mentioned abuse of power save for the violence and threats coming from certain officers. But nothing was sexual. And I think I'm perfectly capable of recognizing the signs." He could feel his rapid heartbeat in his temples. The idea of an officer doing that to a minor in prison was making his blood boil.  
  
"I know. I believe you."  
  
"Yeah... I think I'm just trying to convince myself. That shit is scary," he sighed,  
  
"Language," Yura told him quietly.  
  
"Sorry." He chuckled. "Thanks for calling me, Sis."  
  
After hanging up, Chanyeol stayed seating on the couch, running his fingers through his hair, messing it up. When he tasted the chocolate again, it was lukewarm. He spit it back on the mug.  
  
His phone beeped once.  
  
_Come to my office first thing tomorrow_ , a text by Superintendent Kim.  
  
Another beep. _Dr. Kim is coming too._  
  
That did nothing to help Chanyeol calm down. If anything, he started to feel worse.  
  
As Chanyeol parks his car, he sees a group of news vans with logos he recognizes. The first thing he thinks of is how glad he is that his sister called him the night before. The reporters are waiting around the entrance for something to happen. Chanyeol knows that he's tall enough to call the attention, so he speeds up his walk and quickly passes by the group. Sehun opens the door for him and closes it just as fast. They don't greet this time. All Sehun does is give him a worried look.  
  
When Chanyeol enters the Superintendent's office, Minseok and Jongdae are already there as well as other members of the administration.  
  
"Good morning, Doctor Park." The man greets him, standing in front of his desk  
  
Chanyeol bows and takes a seat right next to Jongdae on a wooden chair.  
  
"How many of you are aware of what happened?"  
  
A few hands raise, Minseok's amongst them. When Jongdae turns to Chanyeol, he shakes his head.  
  
Superintendent Kim sighs and leans against his desk.  
  
"Officer Choi was discovered to have been having sex with some of the boys in exchange of bringing in some things from outside."  
  
Chanyeol's jaw drops and he exchanges another look with Jongdae. Both of them are equally shocked. Some things are starting to make sense.  
  
"Cigarettes?" Jongdae asks.  
  
Superintendent Kim nods. "Most commonly." He takes a deep breath. "So far, we know of only three of the boys to have been involved in this situation. Needless to say, Officer Choi has been suspended and I'm taking this to the Senior Superintendent back in Seoul."  
  
"What's going to happen to him?" asks the woman behind the desk whenever Chanyeol sets a new appointment or has to reschedule something.  
  
"Of course, he'll be fired. What happens to him afterwards will depend on the boys statements."  
  
Minseok raises his hand. "I've already recorded Joohyuk's confession, as you've asked me to, Sir."  
  
"Good." The man nods. "Doctor Park," he says then. In those few seconds, faces of the names Chanyeol doesn't want to hear flash through his mind, Jungkook, Baekhyun... "None of your patients have been involved in it." Chanyeol can't help but let out a relieved sigh. "As I understand, you'll soon be leaving. But I'm gonna ask you to help us find out if there are more boys."  
  
Chanyeol nods.  
  
"According to Joohyuk, Officer Choi approached some of them," Minseok explains, looking straight at Chanyeol. "Do you recall any of the boys mentioning him?"  
  
Shaking his head, Chanyeol replies. "They have talked about violence, never to the point of injuring them. But in no case, there was a mention of sexual interactions. I'm thinking they could have been embarrassed about it. I'll try to talk to a few of my patients."  
  
"How do we know if the kids that aren't doing therapy had any part in it?" Jongdae asks.  
  
Superintendent Kim purses his lips. "We'll work with what we have now. Regarding the press, we have Kim Kibum here," - he points at young man with a skinny face and piercing eyes - "all information comes first to me and then to him."  
  
Everyone nods and is dismissed from the office.  
  
Jongdae gestures with his head for Chanyeol to walk with him. Minseok joins them. Together, they head to the empty classroom.  
  
"All under our noses," Jongdae says in an exhale.  
  
"I feel..." Chanyeol starts. His mind is still in Superintendent Kim's office. "I feel like I've failed doing my job."  
  
A hand comes to touch his shoulder. Minseok smiles sympathetically. "Don't think that way. I was working with Joohyuk and I only found out two weeks ago. This has been going on for a while."  
  
"Two weeks? Why didn't you tell me?" Chanyeol can't help but feel hurt that he was left out of something so important.  
  
"Well, it was a suspicion at first. Something that Joohyuk said about the cigarettes and how hard it was to get them. He laughed at something then. I tried getting it out of him, but he wouldn't say." Minseok sits on top of one of the boys' desks. "It was actually Officer Wu who found out last week and went to talk to Superintendent Kim. Now, knowing who the officer was, I was able to get the confession."  
  
Chanyeol runs his fingers through his hair, unable to lift his eyes from the floor. He sees a cigarette end by one of the chairs. He snorts at it. When Jongdae asks why he's laughing, he points at it. None of the three laugh afterwards.  
  
"This shit's messy. You're lucky you're leaving," Jongdae tells Chanyeol.  
  
"Yeah... But I'm getting second thoughts." Minseok tilts his head in question. "I felt that I had already done what I could to help these kids."  
  
"Chanyeol," Minseok tells him. "This is prison, a juvenile prison. There will alway be new kids coming, each with their own problems. I've been here for longer than you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. And you can help. You _did_ help them."  
  
"I know..."  
  
"Why are you leaving?"  
  
"Because I miss my family and the hospital. I wanna work there again."  
  
"That's a good enough reason," Jongdae tells him with a smile.  
  
"You did your part. After this shit is over, you can go back home in peace," Minseok adds. "...I hope."  
  
Chanyeol nods, promising to himself that he will help as much as he can in his last few weeks at the Institute.  
  
"How about we go to see Jongin for lunch?" Jongdae winks.  
  
"Sure. Let's see your boyfriend."  
  
"We're not boyfriends," Jongdae whines. "We're just dating," he whispers.  
  
Minseok laughs loudly. Jongdae might have told him about it. "You sound like one of the boys here. You're back to your teen years."  
  
When Chanyeol leaves the two of them bickering inside the classroom with a smile a on his face.  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  
There's a knock on the door when Chanyeol places the recorder on the table, right behind the plant. The leaves are dry, almost falling and covering the recorder. The plant might not survive winter, but after Chanyeol leaves that will be the problem of Minseok and whoever replaces Chanyeol.  
  
He walks to the door and opens it to find Officer Oh standing behind Byun Baekhyun. It reminds Chanyeol of the first time he opened the door to this same image. Baekhyun looks a bit taller, eight months at this age can really make a change. Chanyeol has seen his fair share of teenage boys growing into men.  
  
Baekhyun grins. "Hello, Doc."  
  
Behind him, Sehun murmurs, "Brat," earning himself and amused look from both Chanyeol and Baekhyun. The officer frees Baekhyun's hands and leaves, smiling at them.  
  
When Chanyeol closes the door, Baekhyun is already sitting on the couch. Chanyeol joins him, on his own seat. They stay in silence for a few minutes.  
  
Baekhyun's posture is much different from before. Though his back is leaning against the couch, his legs are bent, not stretched under the table as usual. His hands are on his lap. He looks relaxed and much calmer and focused than any other day they've met.  
"You look good, Baekhyun."  
  
"I feel good, Doc." The boy grins again. "It's almost time. I can't wait to leave this place."  
  
Chanyeol nods. Baekhyun's sentence is almost over, he'll leave right after Christmas, just like Chanyeol himself.  
  
"Since this is your last session in the institute," Chanyeol starts, "is there anything you want to talk about in particular?"  
  
All inmates must have a last meeting with the psychiatrists before they leave.  
  
"I've... I've learned a lot. And I don't mean carpentry or singing. I've learned about myself." Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol as he says it. "I'm thankful, not for being here, but for having met the people I've met. I'm gonna miss Jungkookie," he says lowering his eyes, a sad smile on his lips.  
  
"You could still visit him sometime," Chanyeol suggests.  
  
"Maybe. I could also come to greet you, Doc." Baekhyun smiles.  
  
Chanyeol nods. "I won't be here anymore, Baekhyun."  
  
The news are shocking to the boy who leans forward, eyebrows hidden under his shaggy brown hair. "Why?"  
  
"I'm transferring to another place. A hospital."  
  
"Oh..." Chanyeol detects a bit of disappointment. "Which hospital?"  
  
"I can't tell you that."  
  
Baekhyun purses his lips, nodding. "Okay."  
  
"What about you, Baekhyun? What are you going to do?"  
  
A genuine smile forms on Baekhyun's face and his eyes light up. "I've passed my exams!" He exclaims.  
  
Chanyeol can't help but smile with him. "Congratulations."  
  
"I got a high enough grade to get into Bucheon University. I'm gonna apply next semester, after I graduate." Baekhyun puts his hands under his thighs and bounces his legs quickly, unable to hide his excitement.  
  
"That's great. What will you study?"  
  
"Architecture. It seems fitting for some reason. I've told my mom about it. My parents were very happy for me. And my brother sent me a letter." When he says it, he pats his pocket. Chanyeol smiles even more, knowing that he's carrying the letter with him.  
  
"It's good to hear your family supports you." Baekhyun nods. "They always did, you know that?"  
  
Baekhyun nods again. "In their own way."  
  
"What about your friends back home? Will you met them again?"  
  
The boys grimaces and shakes his head, making Chanyeol chuckle. "Those are not friends. I've learned my lesson. I might join a choir or take drama lessons and meet new people. I..." He blushes. "I don't know if I wanna say that I've spent time here to new people I meet." Baekhyun lowers his head and runs his fingernails over the seam of his pants.  
  
"Baekhyun," Chanyeol says, making him lift his head. "You're not defined by your time spent here. This was an experience, with positive results, as I can see. But it's not who you are."  
  
Baekhyun nods, looking a bit more relieved.  
  
"Doc... Thank you for everything. I'm... You've helped me a lot."  
  
Chanyeol has heard variations of those same words many times before, and each time, they never fail to make him proud.  
  
He grins. "I'm glad. If you want to continue your treatment, if you feel you need it, I can recommend a colleague of mine that works in Bucheon." Baekhyun seems to hesitate but agrees. Chanyeol stands up and writes down on a note the number of a friend, then hands it to Baekhyun.  
  
They continue chatting, talking about the rest of the boys, how Baekhyun got out of Kangho's gang, that Taeho and him don't talk to each other anymore. They talk about Officer Choi's scandal ("Not many of the guys knew how they got the cigarettes and stuff. We all just accepted them").  
  
It's time for Baekhyun to leave. The knock on the door tells them so. Sehun stands there with the handcuffs in his hands waiting for Baekhyun to give him his wrists.  
  
Baekhyun extends his right hand towards Chanyeol, who takes it and holds it. The skin is smooth and his grip is confident. They shake hands once and then they let go.  
  
"Happy New Year, Doc," Baekhyun tells him.  
  
"Happy New Year, Baekhyun."  
  
The boy leaves with Sehun.  
  
Chanyeol closes the door of his office, stops the recorder and starts downloading the audio to his laptop. He sits down and opens Baekhyun file. He adds all the new information, then closes it. He'll take everything to Doctor Gong when he gets back to Seoul.  
  
Then, he stands up and walks towards the window. The courtyard is covered in white snow; the boys won't be going out during the break time. There will be no footprints on the ground.  
  
But there will still be inmates to fill the cells.  
  
Chanyeol rubs his eyes. It's the four years of work with troubled teenagers catching up to him. It's been a ride, but worth it every step of the way. And, even though Chanyeol is going back home, he knows he's making a new path for himself. He smiles, wondering what it will bring, who his new patients will be.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
